Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Customer's Got Talent

America's Got Talent?  Hell, no!  Customer's Got Talent!  Seriously, customers can do it all:  Bitch.  Praise.  Complain.  Eat.  Criticize.  Argue.  Drink.  And, make funny sounds.

The other night, I had a couple sitting in my section and they were celebrating the man's birthday.  I got roped into the usual conversation about "what else do you do besides wait tables?"  And I know, you never know who knows whom in this town, so I try to be nice when answering the question, but when I tell people that I'm a stand-up comedian, it just opens the door to people saying they have always wanted to try stand-up, and has them trying out jokes and random material on me, and it usually leaves me just staring at them.

Well, the man decided to tell me that he's getting back into acting.  Specifically because he's very good at making certain sounds.  To be honest, not something I hear everyday.  And, I'm also good at making certain sounds.  Especially after eating from a Taco Truck.

"I can sound like a chicken, a duck, a fire engine, a pigeon, and like an airplane landing," he boasted.

"I don't think a lot of people can do an airplane landing," I added.  "Taking off, and flying.  But not landing.  So you're trying to get into voice-overs?"

"No.  Regular acting with those sounds.  I do the sounds on my wife all the time--"

"--he does," she interrupted.  "All the time."

"You're very talented, sir.  Have you decided what you'd like to eat?"

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."


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