Saturday, July 27, 2013

Breast Milk Macchiato


There are too many choices for milk nowadays.  Organic.  Almond.  Breast?

Soon "breast milk" will be the new craze everywhere, and people will be ordering it for their Lattes thanks to the constant problem of breast feeding in restaurants.

The policia teta have been called upon again to smack the cuffs on the latest perpetrators of breast feeders in restaurants.  This isn't the first, nor will it be the last time.  But to celebrate my 100th Bitter Bistro post, what better way to celebrate then to debate the issues of breast feeding in restaurants.

I am going to say that I am "pro boob," but I am against them being out to feed your child while you are dining in a restaurant.  I get it.  It's natural, it's best for your child, but most people go out to a restaurant for a good time, and your breast-feeding is not included in the price of an entree.

"Waiter!  Can you do something about this?  That woman's breast is exposed and I'm trying to eat!" a man said to me during one of my shifts.  Like I've said before in many of my posts, servers deal with a lot more than what's on the actual job description.  Confrontations with guests and mammary glands have now been added to the list.

The only time that I, (and probably most people,) approve of exposed breasts, is when they are the star of the show.  Not co-starring with some kid feeding on the end of it.  See my other post BOOBIES. This topic has created quite a stir amongst the service industry bloggers on the World Wide Web. Scroll down on The Bitchy Waiter's Facebook Page to see the many comments on this subject.  And he is not on the side of mothers.

But you know who is?  The Huffington Post.  They jumped onboard to defend mothers everywhere, saying that if a child needs to be nurtured, then mothers should "nurture away."










But where is the line of decency that lets a woman feed her child, while others feel comfortable around it?  For me, it comes down to money.  If I am called over by one of my tables to field complaints about another one of my tables who is breast feeding, than it has become my issue.  And most of the time, my tip has now been affected by a mother who just thought that she was nursing her child.  The reality is, I just got nursed out of a tip by the complainers.  And now I've gotta play Boob Cop to a new mom.

"Pardon me, Ma'am?  I'm gonna have to ask you to holster that breast.  (Drawing my gun) Kid, drop that tit, and crawl away!"

If this happens anymore, the only thing servers can do, is charge a corkage.  A "flat-tit" fee.

Agree?  Disagree?  Comment below...

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

 "Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

 The Bitter Bistro

 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Cook and Server Rivalry

There has been a long battle that can rival that of the Montegues & Capulets, Biggie & Tupac, and even Foreigner and Journey... the battle between Cooks and Servers.

I've never seen so many altercations happen in a restaurant than between those two groups.  As stated in the above tweet, cooks think that servers are lazy and don't know how to take food orders, while servers think cooks are slow and don't care because they are not on the front line taking the heat if the food is wrong, or took a long time to get to the table.

Servers are instantly resented by the back of house staff.  Maybe because they think that we make the most money in the restaurant.  Since we work off of tips, the cooks just see us walking with cash and immediately think we make more.  But the trade off is if it's slow, than cooks make more money because they usually make a higher hourly, and some of them may even get health benefits to go along with that.  A slow restaurant means a server is making no money, or worse yet, we may get cut from our shift to save on labor costs for the place.

It's a back and forth trade off.  Cooks deal with the heat of a kitchen, and servers deal with the heat of angry customers.

I have definitely had my fair share of fights with cooks and even chefs.  No saying I look to pick fights during my shifts, but in the end, I am just trying to get food in front of the customer.  My last confrontations had to deal with what the menu said we had and what the chef said we ACTUALLY had.  The chef had a problem with making an entree the way that it said on the menu.  He didn't want to make it because he told me we had run out of the ingredients   Before having to go back to the table and tell the guest that we didn't have their second choice for an entree, I got a little frustrated voiced my concerns.

"Would it be possible for you to actually do what your job says and cook?  They are a regular customer," I stated.

"Tell them they should go eat somewhere else.  We are out of the things they want."

"Well since they have already been here 30 minutes, I think they would like to stay here and finish their meal," I pleaded.  "And being out of something is one thing, not wanting to make it is another."

A bit childish yes, but in the end the customer finally got something similar to what they wanted, and that was the end of it.  At least no knives were drawn.  Seriously, I once worked at a place where two brothers, (not Black guys,) owned the place.  One was the Executive Chef, and the other was the General Manager.  They had a huge fight in the kitchen, the chef pulled a knife and threatened his brother, and all this... over a girl.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

 "Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE

Monday, July 15, 2013

The Vegetarian Battle


Vegetarians are slowly trying to take over restaurants.  And I do mean slowly, because they can't move that fast do to their lack of protein.  

I am actually confused about what exactly is a vegetarian.  Doing some research online, I found the following definitions on the site www.vegetarianvegan.com

VEGETARIAN:  Vegetarian is a blanket term used to describe a person who does not consume meat, poultry,  fish, or seafood.  This grouping includes Vegans and the various sub-categories of Vegetarian; however, it generally implies someone who has less dietary restrictions than a Vegan.

But then to confuse things even more, they also have subcategories.  Like these:

SEMI-VEGETARIAN:  The term Semi-Vegetarian is usually used to describe someone who is a vegetarian who consumes dairy products, eggs, chicken, and fish, but does not consume other animal flesh.

OVO-LACTO-VEGETARIANOvo-lacto vegetarians are Vegetarians who do not consume meat, poultry, fish, and seafood, but do consume eggs and milk. This is the largest group of Vegetarians.

OVO-VEGETARIANOvo-vegetarian is a term used to describe someone who would be a vegan if they did not consume eggs.

LACTO-VEGETARIAN:  Lacto-Vegetarian is a term used to describe someone who would be a vegan if they did not consume milk.

VEGANVegan is the strictest sub-category of Vegetarians. Vegans do not consume any animal products or by-products. Some go as far as not even consuming honey and yeast. Others do not wear any clothing made from animal products.


I know, I got bored just writing these definitions.  It’s would be easier to bring peace to the “Holy-lands” than to decipher how people decide the subcategories of these diets.  But don’t get me wrong, your diet is your business.  I’m diabetic, and I try to follow a strict diet for health and vanity reasons, but (Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,) don’t make it everybody else’s problem when you go out to a restaurant!  

It just seems like people just said that they are a vegetarian, but with certain restrictions because they still like to eat certain things.  Take the Ovo-Lacto-Vegetarian for example.  They don’t “consume meat, poultry, fish, or seafood, bust do consume eggs and milk.”  So basically, they’re saying fuck the baby chickens, and we’ll only consume the liquid part of a cow.  It’s like these people went through the vegetarian bible with a highlighter and said, “I would do anything for cows, but I still drink milk.”  It’s like a bad verse from a Meatloaf song.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

 "Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The British and Australian Conflict


The should be more books written about how to get free stuff.  If there were, they would probably be written by a lot of the customers that I have served.  This is not a new subject for me to write about, but it keeps happening to me, and in different ways.

Most recently, I was serving (what I thought was) a fun four top.  Two couples that were either from the U.K. or from "Down Under."  Sorry, but sometimes it does get tough to distinguish the two accents.  The only thing that really makes me tell them apart is that British people tend to be overly polite, and Aussie's tend to be overly friendly.  But in the end, both cultures tend to be overly bad tippers.

However, I wasn't focused on the outcome of the situation, but rather on making sure all of my tables were having a good time, and if necessary, overtly telling them that GRATUITY IS NOT INCLUDED.  But at this point in the service, everything was great.  The couples were enjoying themselves, drinking some wine, and showing no signs of discontent.

But that was just one half of the restaurant.  Let me briefly describe what was happening on the other side of the restaurant.  That half was bought out for the evening for a private party.  Meaning that one half of the restaurant was being used for regular dinner service, and the other half was being used for the private party, that was being served by banquet staff.  There wasn't a lot of people at the party.  They were using both the patio and the north half of the restaurant.  You could tell there was a party going on, but it wasn't like it was so loud that you couldn't hear the person that was sitting across from you at your table.

I had other tables as well as my four top of alleged Brits/Aussies.  Not a complaint in the house.  My foreign-four-top finishes their entrees, doesn't want dessert, so I finish pouring off their wine, and let them know to not feel rushed and enjoy the rest of their wine.  They loved that.  At this point, I briefly excused myself to go use the bathroom.  Upon my return, my co-worker had dropped their check, I saw that they were signing it to their hotel room, and everything appeared to be fine.  So, like I stated before, it appeared like it was a successful night.  These types of nights are usually good for my wallet, and my temperament, but bad for my blogging.  (Like you guys want me to write about something good...)

I end up getting a bit busy with some new tables, until I see my manager with the check from my foreign-four-top at the computer.

"What are you doing with that?  Did they not tip me?" I asked.  Sometimes management will be able to work some magic to get their servers some kind of compensation.

"They complained that the noise from the party next door ruined their eventing," my manager stated.  "Our hotel manager overhead this, stepped in, and decided to comp their entire meal to make them happy."

"It was a $300.00 check?!  They never complained the entire time they were here with me."

"You didn't do anything wrong.  They felt the noise and the amount of people here ruined their night," he said.

No one else cared about any noise except this table.  And they would have rather dined at an unsuccessful, slow restaurant, then one that is alive.  But who am I to complain about them, they just showed how to get a free meal... and an expensive one at that.  Oh, and they succeeded in not tipping me.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

 "Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

  The Bitter Bistro

 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE

Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Dog Days of July 4th Weekend


This was a tweet I wrote before July 4th.  If you live in Los Angeles, it bares the truth as the only places to be at the time, are the places at the beach.  And since neither of the two restaurants I work at are far from the beach, they have been both extremely slow.
I even got cut from two of my shifts this past week.  One of them being on July 4th.  That should be fantastic news, but when a restaurant makes cuts for the night, they usually don't do it within a timely manner in which you would be able to catch up with the rest of the world to be able to participate in anything fun.  And by the time that cut had happened, the roads that lead to the beach were more backed up than the 405 freeway on a,... well... just more backed up than the 405 freeway.

That was just one of the establishments that I wait tables.  The other played the same game that has been going on every year.  The "where is everybody?" game.

"Why is it so slow here?" asked one man with white pants, wearing sandals with gross feet, while his wife looked around anxiously.

"It's July 4th weekend.  Most people tend to go towards the beach and not towards Hollywood," I replied.

"What side of town are we on?"

"Hollywood, sir."  How the hell do you not know where the hotel is located that you are staying at?  So I had to ask him.  "Did you not know the hotel you booked was in this location when you were making your travel arrangements?"

"Yes, but I just thought it might be different," he and his wife both answered.

Sorry, but the hotel doesn't change locations anymore.  It got to be too expensive.  UHG!... I'm better off not hanging out with hoards of these types of people.  HAPPY 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND 2013

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE