Tuesday, February 28, 2012

You Got Yelped !!!



It's time again for one of my favorite blogs to write, the "You Got Yelped" edition of The Bitter Bistro.  And for those of you who don't know, apparently "Yelp" is being sued by businesses for some for some of the slanderous statements that many of the customers have been writing.  The businesses are stating that they have dramatically lost business because of the bad things that people have been writing about them on "Yelp."  Now, I am not saying that businesses should be allowed to operate and treat customers poorly, BUT, some people feel the need to take out their daily frustrations about their pathetic lives through the reviews they write.  And they are not even writing reviews!  They are writing dissertations about each item of food they had to eat at a restaurant and everything in-between.  Too much power has been given to the customers.  And I have become keenly aware that the customers have lost their fricking minds!

With that being said, let me introduce you all to Gene B from Los Angeles, CA.  Gene decided to go the romantic route and take his wife out to a restaurant on Valentine's Day.  On Valentine's Day, restaurants could care less about romance.  They are concerned about their bottom line, and how many bottoms they can seat to fill that line.  Here is what Gene had to say about his experience:

Made a reservation for Valentine's Day, 7PM. Called to say running 20 min late. Said OK but after 20 min, will be on wait list as they were 'booked solid', got there exactly at 20 min past, sat us in a totally empty restaurant! (Really Gene!  Jack In The Box is even filled to capacity on V-Day.)  

Asked for a booth, said booked. Much turnover in booths but we were barred from them I guess. In main dining room which was 40% unoccupied the entire evening, one of the 2 'private rooms' was empty the whole eve!  (Gene apparently works with the Census Bureau.) 

Really, offensive, trying to make us think it's a hot spot, it's not.  (There's no fooling Gene on this one.)

Service could not have been more nonexistent, waiter had no personality, had no clue how to be a waiter.  (Servers are now expected to throw some sort of Cabaret Show for customer's like Gene.) 

We saw the matre'd more than our waiter. Food is exceptional (exceptionally mediocre) for these prices. Place is beautiful, Service is lacking, food is mediocre. High prices and really pretentious and they aren't living up to the standards.  Also, gave my wife literally a wilted rose!  (First of all, I'm surprised that Gene is married or that a woman was desperate enough to marry him.  Second, it appears that Gene didn't buy his wife flowers himself, so he is upset that somebody also failed at doing his job.)

 Just a joke of a concept. Place is lacking as well, just not 'there'. LA has way too many greater choices for this money. Booked Solid and I guess they all realized what a bad experience they might have had and all went somewhere else.  (Gene, this last statement literally makes no sense at all.)  


I think Gene missed the point of Valentine's Day all together.  And if you are going to write a review that is that long Gene, learn some sentence structure and proof read for Pete's sake!  And if you look at Gene's profile on Yelp, you will see that he drives a Jaguar and is extremely proud of that.  That means that Gene is extremely proud of being a douche-bag.  I'm sure after Gene's horrible experience was over, he went home with his wife, locked her back up in the closet, and sat in the corner repeating the phrase to himself, "The waiter had no personality, had no clue how to be a server!"

Gene B. from Los Angeles, CA-- YOU GOT YELPED !!!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Saturday, February 4, 2012

RING! RING!


It's always refreshing when someone who works in the service industry is able to experience some sort of justice when a customer has been evil.  This edition is a tale of that experience.

I had a busy section one night.  Sitting in my section was a gentleman who was dining by himself.  At this particular time, I was working at a restaurant that is located inside a hotel.  This gentleman was a guest of the hotel.  He was having a great dining experience.  He started out drinking a Manhattan, went on to a Pinot Noir with his dinner, and rounded out the evening with a nice glass of Port with his dessert.  Throughout the man's dining journey, I checked on him to see how he was doing.

"How is everything?"

"Great.  The Meatloaf is fantastic, and I really like the Pinot you recommended."  The man boasted.

"Glad you're enjoying everything."  I replied.  I was happy that he was easy going because at that time, I was pretty busy with some other big tables that I was working on.

The evening continued.  I approached the gentleman again.  "Can I get you anything else?"  He responded no, so I printed out his check, dropped it on his table and left a pen so he could sign it to his room.  Now keep this in mind, I STILL had tables right next to this man.  I was in sight the ENTIRE time.  He finished his port, I saw him sign his check, and that should have been it.  I left to use the bathroom, and when I returned, my manager quickly came up to the computer terminal with the man's check saying, "That man's pissed.  He wanted a copy of his check."  My manager printed out the copy, handed me my copy, and left.  I looked at the check and saw that the man had wrote in a tip for 8 dollars. (An appropriate tip for the check amount.)  But since he felt slighted by not getting a copy of the check, he crossed out the 8 dollar tip and wrote in 1 dollar.  Again, this man had a great experience, and NEVER asked me for a copy of the check.

Wanting to resolve the situation and being the professional that I am, I quickly walked to where the man was standing to receive his copy of the check and offer my apologies.  He had started walking down the hall to the elevators to go to his room.  I called out to stop him.

"Sir, I apologize for not getting you a copy of your check.  Since you didn't say anything about not wanting a copy, I didn't get you a copy.  I just didn't know you had wanted a copy of the check."

"It's too late!"  He barked.  Apparently this man only works in absolutes.

"Again, I apologize for not knowing you wanted a copy of your check."

He turned and walked away.  I went and closed out the check.  Instead of accepting his dollar tip, I entered in "0" for the tip amount.  I showed him!  Then I closed it to his room number.  Room 534.  His name, Mr. Burke.  "That's good to know."  I thought.

Cut to later that night.  At one in the morning, I decided to call and check in on Mr. Burke.

(Phone Ringing)
"Hi, can I have room 534 please?"

"The name on the room?"

"Burke.  B-U-R-K-E"  And they put me through.  Nobody answered.  I decided to stay up late and finish the movie I had started.

Before I went to bed, I decided to give Mr. Burke another call.  I was 3:55 in the morning.  After all, I was concerned that he was going to leave the hotel with a bad customer experience.

(Phone Ringing)
"Hi, can I have room 534?"  They put me through.  It rang twice.  Then, a groggy man answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Burke?"

"Huh?"

"I'm just calling to let you know that the escort you ordered is downstairs waiting for you in the lobby."

"Where?"  Poor guy, he was still trying to wake up and figure out what planet he was on.

"The lobby.  The escort you ordered?  He's waiting for you."

"I have to be at the airport at 4am.  I have a meeting."  Mr. Burke said.

"Well, it's 3:55am right now.  Good luck with getting to the airport in five minutes."  I said with concern.

"Thanks."  And he hung up.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro