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Showing posts from March, 2013

Manager Sickness

I have dealt with many managers throughout my career.  The one thing that they all have in common is that none of them seem to believe me when I call in sick.  I've never worked a 9 to 5 job, so I don't know what it's like to call in sick to those, but with restaurant gigs, you'd better have a terminal illness, or use the "dead grandmother" line.  And even if you do, you're going to need a doctor's note just to prove it and to be able to come back to work.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to work tonight.  I feel like crap," I told my manager over-the-phone one morning.

"Did you get someone to cover your shift?" he asked.

"Nobody can do it because everybody is working tonight."

"It's your responsibility to get your shift covered!"  He insisted.

"Right, but I'm sick.  But everybody is working tonight.  And I won't be much use tonight considering I can't get out of bed."

You Got Yelped!!!

This edition of my "You Got Yelped!!!" series looks at how the business of a restaurant can affect the attitudes of customers and waiters alike.  More so on the customers side, because as far as I know, I am not responsible for bringing business into a restaurant.  I provide a valuable service once the customers are seated, but promotions and marketing are not part of the service that I provide.

Which brings me to "Ladytron K."  CLICK HERE for her Yelp profile.  She has high expectations, but is delusional about what good service is, and should seriously consider dousing herself in truffle oil and dressing her own salads with herself.  She writes on one particular experience:

My boyfriend bought  a $50 for $100 deal on http://Ladeals.com, a Groupon type site.   When we arrived at the place, we realized why they were on the Groupon circuit. The restaurant was an absolute ghost town. There were probably 5 people in the restaurant which was a relief to us because the…

The Woody Allen and Larry David Neurosis

I knew I was going to be in trouble the other night when my co-worker Michael motions to a customer and says to me, "I had that guy last night.  Good luck with him!"

My last table of the night, and I get the wild card.  I decide to do my best impression of "I care about the customers" and quickly greeted the table.  I was immediately blasted with,

"I can't have anything with black pepper, garlic, dairy, or butter.  But I was in here the other night, and the server was able to accommodate me.  I think his name was Michael.  Is he here tonight?  I like him."  I glance over at Michael, and he's enjoying not being in my place.

I go over the menu with the guy and his date, and I quickly recognize the condition he has, it's a neurosis of Woody Allen mixed with Larry David.  He likes pasta without sauce, but then he orders a sauce on the side so he can scoop it in himself.  He likes fish by itself, without sides, but then wants to order some vegeta…

Mr. Smith Goes to France--AND SHOULD STAY THERE!!!

Once again the soldiers of the service industry have been harpooned by an individual, who thinks that people who work in the service industry are those that should be looked down upon, mocked, and degraded all because he believes that karma won't find him and jam a pencil down his urethra and snap it in half.

Kyle Smith (above pic,) a writer for the NY Post and also my doppelganger and archenemy, wrote an article on March 2nd, [You Got Served] explaining his disdain for his server, and how he thinks that all "ex-darlings of their high school theater department," should in so many words, shut their mouths and jump off the Brooklyn bridge.  But don't dare jump until you've brought Kyle another cocktail for Christ's sake!  And all for telling him his name.  Which I am against in the first place.  I've never made more or less in tips by telling or not telling a customer my name.

Obviously the reaction from waiters and bartenders ranges from lynching him, put…