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Showing posts from May, 2015

LA Times Doesn't Want You to TIP Your Server!

The minimum wage is Los Angeles is supposed to be raised to 15 dollars by the year 2020.  LA follows other cities like Chicago and Seattle by making the minimum wage more tolerable to the increasing costs of living. This could be fantastic news to those of us who work in the service industry.  That would mean that many of us WOULD actually be getting money on our paychecks.  If you still live under a naive rock, servers don't get money on the paychecks because all of it is taken out for taxes because the wage is so low.  And even lower in places on the East coast like New York and Pennsylvania. I have come across more than the usual backlash about tipping, and even worse, people wanting to do away with tipping all together.  While making a better wage does sound appealing, doing away with tipping is going to sacrifice the dining experience all together. Case in point, an article written by a man who doesn't work in the service industry.  Perhaps at one time, he did--whe


Yesterday was National Waitstaff Day.  A day of remembrance, and sovereignty.  Where people were asked to, "be nice to your waiters and bartenders, and tip them 20 percent.  Much like Mother's Day, and Father's Day, we now need another "special day" to remind people to be nice to people who serve their food and drinks.  This world is ridiculous.  I would rather customers just be nice, and if they don't, then just be the assholes that they always are, and then we servers just talk about them in the side-station. Here's an example of how customers can get into our heads and make us feel like we are idiots: The other night, a man and a woman were sitting in my section.  Right away, this sounds like how all of my stories start.  The man starts questioning me about the food. "My wife and I only eat fish.  We don't eat meat," he stated. "The Branzino and the Salmon are both delicious," I answered. "I think I'm going

Customer's Got Talent

America's Got Talent?  Hell, no!  Customer's Got Talent!  Seriously, customers can do it all:  Bitch.  Praise.  Complain.  Eat.  Criticize.  Argue.  Drink.  And, make funny sounds. The other night, I had a couple sitting in my section and they were celebrating the man's birthday.  I got roped into the usual conversation about "what else do you do besides wait tables?"  And I know, you never know who knows whom in this town, so I try to be nice when answering the question, but when I tell people that I'm a stand-up comedian, it just opens the door to people saying they have always wanted to try stand-up, and has them trying out jokes and random material on me, and it usually leaves me just staring at them. Well, the man decided to tell me that he's getting back into acting.  Specifically because he's very good at making certain sounds.  To be honest, not something I hear everyday.  And, I'm also good at making certain sounds.  Especially a

Server Tweets of the Week

Some people in the service industry that I follow on Twitter say the best things.  Here are some of my favorites over the past week: #hostesslife — Shiftgig (@shiftgig) May 15, 2015 The teller at my bank just asked if I could get her a job at work after she deposited last nights tips for me 😂 #ServerLife — Bitchy Waitress (@1bitchywaitress) May 15, 2015 Me: Cocktails & appetizers? Them: No! Just came from a cocktail party. We'll share one dinner. #HowToAnnoyYourServer — Shit Servers Say (@ShitServersSay) May 14, 2015 Well you know we can't have mother's day happen without me ranting!!! People, it's not our fault.... Ro's... — Ro Delle Grazie (@RoDelleGrazie) May 12, 2015 Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments. "Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready." ITUNES STITCHER TWITTER FACEBOOK IT DOESN'T GET ANY BITTER T

Mother's Day Veterans

Yes, the service industry survived another Mother's Day.  That is such a weird way to start my conversation with you.  It's like surviving a World War, but putting yourself voluntarily through it EVERY year. I actually didn't have to work during the "brunch" this year.  Instead of working brunch, I was able to ACTUALLY brunch with my mom and family.  But for some reason, the dinner reservations at my work were just as busy as the brunch reservations. First of all, Mother's Day is supposed to be a day to celebrate your mom, the woman who birthed you, and who suffered raising you in this crappy world.  I just think it's (almost) funny that we want to add to the suffering of motherhood by bringing your mom to brunch in a busier than normal restaurant.  With food that is pricier than normal.  With servers who are stressed out more than normal.   It's too crowded; it's too expensive, and there are too many moms. Here are two of my favo

We're Ready to Order!

Whenever a customer tells me that they're ready to order, it usually means that they need another 15 minutes to decide what the hell they want.  I can understand being indecisive and having a hard time trying to decide between one or two things, but some people act like they're picking a college.  (thanks Lou Santini.) And then guests will ask me what I like.  I tell them three items that I really enjoy on the menu.  Then they ask me about something I didn't mention.  I tell them it's not in my top three.  Now I'm somehow in an argument about why I didn't mention EVERYTHING on the menu. Here's how a conversation went with a table the other night: Customer:  "We're ready to order." Me:  "What may I get for you?" Customer IMMEDIATELY looks back at the menu and says nothing for 2 minutes. Me:  "I'll give you another moment." Customer:  "That's not necessary.  I told you that we're ready to order