Thursday, December 20, 2012

Mayan Customers


Everybody is talking about the end of the world.  According to the Mayan Calendar, that's going to be tomorrow, December 21st, 2012.  I am scheduled to work, but if the world is ending, and I'm going to have to serve people, things are going to go a bit differently.

For customers, it will be easy, simply go out and have a good time.  Listen to me when I am explaining the specials.  Don't change the menu to suit your preferences.  And be ready to order when you say that you are ready to order.  If that's too difficult, then I'll just do the ordering for you.  I'm sure you won't mind paying for some Cowboy Ribeyes, and shots of Johnny Walker Blue Label.

Manager won't micro-manage.  And better yet, managers will actually be visible on the floor because they are ON the floor.  Not hiding in the office, or sneaking off to meet their dealer at some bar down the street.  If you need to hide, just leave the keys to the place with me, I know how to throw a good party.

Co-workers won't be drama queens.  There won't be any complaining that you don't have enough tables, or that your life sucks so you have to take it out on everybody else.  No complaining, period.  What more is there to complain about anyways?  The world is ending, enjoy one day of your life for Pete's sake.

Customers will order from me, and I'll bring them what they want.  We'll share a few laughs, have a shift drink, and make some money.  Isn't that how it used to be?

So when the world ends tomorrow... who am I fooling!  If the world ends tomorrow, I will not be spending my last moments waiting on customers.  I will be calling out.  My excuse?  The old "the world is ending today," story.

BTW... the new podcast is up.  Thanks again to Lauren and Ro for being so funny and honest.  Please listen, comment, and subscribe HERE.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro


Friday, December 7, 2012

You Got YelpED!!!



It seems as if some people never learn, and if they did, they would probably find something wrong with what they had learned and then they would "Yelp" about it.

This time around, it's Barry "No, it isn't short for Barack," C. from Los Angeles.  I didn't write that tagline, Barry did.  See for yourself on his Yelp profile, Barry is a Douche.  Like all aliens who write their Doctorate thesis on Yelp, Barry claims to know what it takes to give good service, and that he is the master of his domain.  Maybe in a "Seinfeldian" aspect, but not from a server aspect.

Here's what Barry had to say one evening while dining out at Rock Sugar...

"Took a prospective new customer here for a work dinner with high hopes. Unfortunately, this restaurant falls into the "Jack of All Trades Master of Nothing" bucket." Barry is apparently an expert on people who are masters.  And I'm weary of people who throw around the term, "master."  Usually doesn't work out well for people who do that.  

"The joy of going around a city like Los Angeles with its abundant offering of authentic Asian food is the favorable taste to price ratio. You want better Thai food than what they serve at RockSugar? Head to almost any spot in Thai town. Looking for good Indian food? There are various spots in the city that can scratch that itch. Want Chinese food done well? Go to the San Gabriel Valley. Korean? Koreatown."  It seems that Barry is someone who needs to take his own advice, and go else where.  With such an abundant knowledge of Asian cuisine and where to get it, Barry would probably be much more comfortable in one of the shady areas of Los Angeles that he recommended.

"Restaurants like RockSugar exist to serve those diners who don't know any better or those who do and are trying to impress their dates/customers (like me) by spending a lot of money unnecessarily."  But isn't that the goal of any restaurant?  In general, restaurants exist for those people who don't want to eat at home.  HELLO?!!!

"Ironically, the only thing they do well is their non-Pan Asian dish, the Caramelized Banana Custard Cake."  And ironically, Barry and his "customer" finish off their meal with a non-Pan Asian dish.  Meaning that Barry is all over the board with what he wants and desires.

Barry probably is on Meganslaw.com, and should be reported to the authorities for going to a restaurant with a "customer."  He is the perfect example of someone who doesn't follow the basic rules of going out to a restaurant to have a good time.  And the rule is:  HAVE A GOOD TIME.  But with a name like BARRY?...

Barry "No, it isn't short for Barack" C., from Los Angeles... YOU GOT YELPED!!!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro