Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Transaction Denied!!!

There is no greater karma than for a customer who has been nothing but rude, give me their credit card to pay for their bill, I swipe it, and then these sweet words appear on the computer screen:

DECLINED

It's one of the few things that is completely out-of-your-server's hands, but so gratifying when it does happen.  And let me repeat what I said in the fourth sentence of this post, "It's one of the few things that is completely out-of-the-server's hands."  Which means, that we (the servers) don't have any control of whether or not your credit card is approved, or not approved, for the transaction.

Remember when you forgot to deposit your paycheck, and then the automatic payment for your credit card went through on the 5th of the month from your bank.  But wait... there were insufficient funds due to the lack of your paycheck deposit.  Therefore leading to an NSF fee from your bank, and now a late charge on your credit card has been assessed.  What's worse?  Now you have a negative point on your credit report, and your credit card company STILL doesn't have their money.  So then they decide (your credit card company) that they don't want you to spend any more money on credit until you give them the money that you owe them.  (GOSH DARN IT !!!)

But you didn't think of this when you sent back the bottle of wine that you ordered, without even trying it.  Or when you demanded appetizers for the entire table even though you mispronounced everything you ordered.  Or when you waved and snapped at me from across the restaurant because one of the girls at the table needed a paper napkin to spit out her gum.  Or when you asked me, "What are you?  One of those actors, too?"  No, you weren't thinking.

But you were thinking of showing off and paying for the entire table when you gave me your credit card.  I ran your card and walked back to your table with the same check presenter, looking the same way from when I picked it up off of the table moments before and said,

"Sir, would you like to try another card?"

"No.  I want to use the one I gave you," you tell me as you take back your bunk credit card.  "What's the problem?!"

"No problem sir.  I just need another form of payment."

"What the hell happened with the transaction?" you demanded to know.

"Transaction denied!"

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."


The Bitter Bistro






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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Bitter Bistro Podcast 212

This episode, I welcome Chris Smith to the podcast.  Chris has worked in many aspects of the service industry, but most impressive to me, he has managed to find his way out of it.

Find out how Chris did it on Ep 212.



Find Chris and his "Community of Healthy Friends" on Facebook.

Listen to the podcast on iTunes, and on Stitcher.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro







 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Friday, February 14, 2014

Be My Valentine

It's Valentine's Day!  Otherwise known as "Overcrowded Restaurant Day."  Couples from everywhere cramming themselves into restaurants, ordering overpriced (red) drinks, and enjoying a pre-fixed menu that screams love just because it has the words, "truffles."

I can't think of a better way to say "I Love You," than by being shoulder-to-shoulder to other couples, in a place that's understaffed, overworked, and stressed out because every guy thinks they are the most romantic and are trying to make this the best Valentine's Day ever by making what probably was a last minute reservation, demanded a romantic table, and some flowers to be placed there before they arrived.

THAT'S AMORE!!!

Thank-you Hallmark, expensive roses, Rose Champagne, Black Truffles, Oysters, Yelp, Micros, and those candy hearts for making me hate this holiday.  Not a personal hate, but having to watch other people, in my section, complain about all of these things and then say that I've ruined Valentine's Day, is what I hate.

So show up to your reservations late, be obnoxious, get a hand-job under-the-table, and then try to not tip 20%.  I'll love you for it.

It doesn't get any BITTER than this!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro




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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

The Bitter Bistro Podcast 211

The conclusion of my two-part podcast with Jen Kodros, and Kendra Thomas.

Find out what happens when Woman's Day Magazine writes an article about how to dine-out on a budget, what celebrity conveniently kept forgetting his wallet whenever he went out to eat, and the new game I introduce, "The Daily Specials."


Find the girls on Twitter:  Jen: @jkodros  Kendra: @kendrakthomas

Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro




 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Up-Charged For Life

There seems to be a bit of confusion when it comes to customers and alcohol.  One cannot exist without the other, it's a love/hate relationship, and one makes the other more tolerable.  However, when it comes to paying for the alcohol, many customers don't understand why it costs more for some drinks over others.

There's no complaining when you get your drink.  Most customers see a glass full of booze and melt.  But just so you know, If you order a vodka-martini, you are going to get a martini glass with 3 ounces of vodka in it.  When you order a vodka on-the-rocks, I am going to bring you a rocks glass, with ice, and 2 ounces of vodka.

But when you get the bill, the look of confusion and contempt is price-less.  So I'm just guessing that most people don't understand the concept of up-charging.  If you order a vodka-soda, or a drink like that, you are getting 1 1/2 ounces of alcohol.  Granted some bars and (bartenders) are going to vary the amounts, but that is pretty standard around town.  And that's definitely the standard according to Jon Taffer.

A good referral for how much is ACTUALLY in a drink can be found here.

But if you order a martini, then when your server puts the order in the computer, we order what alcohol you want, plus a modifier.  Depending on what type of drink you are getting, martini/ rocks/ etc., determines how much the up-charge will be.

Most up-charges range from 2 to 4 dollars depending on the place or what part of town you are in.  To put it plain and simple, you are paying for the extra alcohol.  No, you're not paying for ICE, and no, I cannot hook you up with anymore alcohol just because you're saying you are going to hook me up.

Hopefully this will help with a lot of customer's stress levels when they get their bills.

And to the guy who yelled at my co-worker the other night for the 3 dollar up-charge... GET BENT!      
Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro




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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Bitter Bistro Podcast 210

Another great episode, and a two-parter, (again!)  My guests are the funny, pretty, and insightful Jen Kodros, and Kendra Thomas.  If you learn nothing from this podcast other than the correct spelling of bouillabaisse, then we have succeeded.  That, and you CANNOT decant a bottle of Chardonnay.  Enjoy!


Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro




FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE