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Showing posts from April, 2013

You Got Yelped!!!

As my quest to take down Yelp.com continues, I found another Yelper who continually pushes the boundaries of common decency, and deserves to be outed.  So here I go:

Meet Ben P.
Or, excuse me, Ben "Benitos" P.  (Whatever the hell that means!)  He seemed to have found his way into Beverly Hills and expected the red carpet to be rolled out for him because he thinks that he is somebody.  Actually, he claims to be a(n) "Iron Yelper America," as it says on his Yelp profile.  When in actuality, Ben is no more than one of the many disillusioned Yelpers who probably should've gotten his ass kicked a bit more on the playground when he was a kid.  (Again, I don't condone violence, but there is something to be said for somebody FINALLY learning their lesson.)

Wow I knew going in this place was not going to be good.

Right from the start?  How have you made this far in life, Ben?  That should've been the moment for you to turn around and leave.  And not just leave …

Death and Taxes and boredom at work

Up until three weeks after taxes are due, restaurants and bars are slower than other times of the year.  It's true what they say, there's nothing certain in life except for death and taxes.  I would like to add "slow restaurants" to that list.  Because during tax season, nobody wants to go out to eat and spend money.  Now I know what the "death" part refers too... working in a slow restaurant, is death.

I get a lot of these types of questions during this time:

"When do you guys get busy?"

"Slow tonight, huh?"

"How do you stay open?"

I would like to respectfully answer all of these questions at this time, and my answer is, "I don't have a f@*king clue!"  Seriously, that's like going to your friends party, and asking them if anybody else is coming, or when is it going to get fun.

Why not just enjoy the experience of of slower restaurant, and be happy that your server has the time to give you a little extra att…

Applebee's Smackackle-bee's!

CrApplebee's is at it again.  Only this time, they want it to be known that they support gay bashing and discrimination as opposed to supporting their own employees.  You guys remember my previous post on this (dare I say) restaurant chain a few months back, (CLICK HERE,) where the now infamous Pastor, Alois Bell, caused an employee to lose their serving job because she refused to pay the automatic gratuity; well now Crapplebee's has bigger fish to fry since one of their employees in Rice Lake was the victim of assault and battery, and discrimination.

See article: CLICK HERE

A long and drawn out article, but the point is that Applebee's works by their own set of beliefs, which is "you work here at your own risk," cause they don't care about you, their employee.  And even though the incident happened outside of work, it still poured over into the workplace which in turn Applebee's did nothing to help their own reputation or their employee's cause.

P…

Look! Up in the sky. It's a ... (plop!)

I can now add a new job for servers to handle during their shifts, "bird crap consultant."

During a recent shift, (at a restaurant that has a retractable roof to allow the illusion of an outdoor dining experience,) one of my tables calls me over with a request.

"Yes ladies?"  I asked.

"A bird crapped on our table.  Do something," she barked.

"You know that's good luck.  Mazel Tov?!" I joked.  But somehow I knew that they wouldn't appreciate my humor.  And I was right.

"It almost landed on us.  What if it had gone in our food?"

"I would not have let you eat it."  I assured her.

And if this bird had wanted to crap on these (dimwits,) it would have.  The crap actually landed on the front half of the table, completely missing them... (damn't!)  Trust me, I would have gotten no greater joy than to have had one of my crappy customers get crapped on.  Either by a bird, dog, or myself.

I ened up grabbing a towel and wipi…