Thursday, October 30, 2014

TBB--The Bitter Diaries

Same bitterness, different day!  Service dogs, dine-&-ditching, and BH drivers, oh my hell !!!  Put a 5 star rating in iTunes please.  Remember, Christmas is coming.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."









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IT DOESN'T GET ANY BITTER THAN THIS!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Crappy Tip

I've gotten some bad tips in my day, but I think what this server got in Indiana takes the cake... A poop cake.  According to the NY Daily News, a server in Indiana found that some of the bills left in the check presenter were covered in "fecal matter."  They started off this article right by saying,

"Waitresses already deal with enough crap."

Now it's both figuratively AND literally.  We can't just get a bad tip and leave it at that?  I already know that the majority of the money in circulation already has traces of cocaine and bodily matter on it, but to purposefully add even more to it?  This dilweed went to take a dump and wiped his ass with a couple of one-dollar bills.  The article says that the individual was charged with, "battery using bodily waste."  That will be a fun thing to write on all of his future job applications.


JOB INTERVIEWER:  "Can you explain being arrested?"

IDIOT:  "Uh... The bathroom didn't have any toilet paper?"

JOB INTERVIEWER:  "Get out!"

This poor server is going to be scarred for life.  She won't even be able to get a bad tip anymore without thinking that it's "really shitty."  And, of course, the girl is out part of her tip.  I think the punishment for this guy should be for him to have to clean the money he soiled with his tongue.  If you agree, comment below in the comments section.

Here's the article.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."










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Friday, October 10, 2014

Gone White-Girl Dishwasher

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014.  Los Angeles, CA.

The apocalypse is coming.  I thought they were just coincidences at first, but now I have seen it all.  While bussing my own tables the other night at work, I was bringing the dirty dishes to the dishwashing station, and instead of seeing the usual dishwashing team--Jose, Maria, and Jose de Luis--I saw a white-blonde-girl.  I dropped the dishes and they fell to the ground with a SMASH.  I quickly ran away.

"Am I dead?" I asked myself.  Of course white girls can be dishwashers.  But this is Los Angeles.  It's not something that you normally see in a restaurant.  I was starting to get busy so I put it out of my mind and concentrated on my tables.

Later that night, I was at the expo line and talking with Gerry, the food runner.  I didn't want to come right out and say it, but it was weighing heavily on my mind.

"Gerry, I saw something weird tonight," I cried.

"I know.  I saw it too," he said.

"You know what I'm talking about?" I asked.

"Yes.  The white girl dishwasher."

"I'm scared.  She's a really good dishwasher.  I think the other dishwashers are frightened too."

"They are.  They've never seen her before.  And she's making them look bad," Gerry concluded.

I finished my shift, and as I left, I noticed that there was nothing left in the dishwashing area.  Usually I would see a stack of plates, or racks of glasses left for the morning people to wash, but nothing.  This white-blonde-girl had washed everything.

When I started my shift the next day, I saw a stack of dishes sitting in the dishwashing area.  The usual suspects were there, but no blond-white-girl.  "Had I been dreaming?" I thought.  I continued on with my shift, but there was no appearance made by the white-blonde-girl.

She hasn't returned since.  But if you're out there, white-blonde-girl, we need you.  Come back to my restaurant and wash dishes... please!  Come wash like you've never washed dishes before.  Unless, you aren't real...  This feels like an episode of "The X-Files."

 Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."










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