The Bitter Bistro

Throughout my career in the service industry, I have been bombarded by all sorts of random questions.  Everything from, "where's the bathroom," to "Does anybody here sell weed?"  It is the servers job to answer each question with professionalism, tact, and a straight face.  The first two I can still handle.  The latter, I gave up on years ago. I can't believe some of the questions that come out of the mouths of some people.  It is pure torture, and gives me some insight of what the Spanish Inquisition was all about.  (Okay, maybe not that crazy, but you haven't dealt with some of the characters that have sat in my section.) One night, I had the leader of the "Inquisition" sitting in my section.  She wins the prize for asking the most ridiculous questions in one sitting. "Is the Tuna Tartar very raw?"  She asked. "For most people, yes.  Most places don't normally ask for a temperature on the Tartar, but for you, we&

The New York Post published a story about female servers in France who made better tips by wearing red lipstick.  See below. RENNES, France -- Waitresses may strive to get orders correct and provide excellent service -- but pocketing good tips is all about the lips, French research has revealed. Waitresses who wear red lipstick on average received tips 50 percent of the time from male customers, The (London) Times reported, citing a study by sociologists at the Universite de Bretagne-Sud. The tips were larger in amount than those given to waitresses who wore brown, pink or no lipstick -- and those groups on average were only tipped 30 percent of the time. The presence of red lipstick made no impact on the tipping habits of female customers. The researchers noted that the rise in tips by male customers could be due to red lips being "associated with an indication of estrogen levels, sexual arousal and health." The study results had "practical implic

People who work in the "service industry" are extremely expendable.  Owners and managers like to show how powerful and mighty they can be by placing you on suspensions, and the ultimate, letting you go.  And in a world where you are living by the money you make shift by shift, this can hurt not only your wallet, but your pride as well. There was one establishment in particular that reveled in treating their employees like cattle, slaughtering them at their leisure, and threatening to do the same to anybody else who didn't fall in line.  I know many of you who live in Los Angeles probably have worked at this restaurant, or one of the sister restaurants at one point in your service career, the dreaded... Miyagi's on Sunset . One of the owners set the tone the first staff meeting that I attended.  I was hired as a bartender, and was actually pretty excited to be working at such a busy and trendy night spot in Hollywood at the time.  Tom, the owner, simply stated a

You seriously cannot make this stuff up.  Yes, these are actual human beings, who have come into the restaurants that I've worked at, and said these things to me.  As per usual, I will give you the actual quote, followed by my italicized commentary which I may or may not have said to the customer at that time.  Enjoy! "Can I order room service to my room?"  I actually caught myself making a WTF? face at this person.  No, actually we'd prefer it if you would order room service to your car.  Then drive the hell away from here! "I'm trying to decide between the fish, the steak, or the chicken.  Which one is better?"  Me:"What are you in the mood for?"  Them:"I think chicken.  But I could like fish or steak."   Customers like this woman makes me think that I did some horrible things in a past life, and they are my purgatory. "Bring us more champagne.  The little ones need to have bottles to pop open."   Of course.  Bec