Skip to main content

YOU GOT YELPED !!!


Just when you think that Yelp could not get any worse, I've discovered another path of destructive Yelpers who are... wait for it... Yelping about places of worship!  That's right.  Even with the separation of Church and State, apparently Yelpers think that their reviews will be the "arms length distance" between the two.

Meet Maria A.  It seems that Maria is in need of some enlightenment.  However she chooses to find in through her written Yelp paragraphs.  If Yelp were a bible, she would want to have her own section.  So this one is from the book of Maria A., and the "A" could only mean "ASININE."

Maria writes about her experience at a Jewish temple in Beverly Hills.

"Came here to do an observation study (ethnographic research) . I went on a Saturday morning. The people here seem very materialistic with their apperal, cologne, perfumes, and fancy cars they bought off credit. It was someones Bar/T Mitzva this day which was interesting."-- First off, she claims to be some sort of student of cultural studies, but yet Maria misspelled apparel, and bar mitzvah?  And how does she know the cars were bought with credit?  She must have done a silent survey with the crowd.  

She continues...

"What really annoyed me the most, was how half the time the leaders or rabbi's ( i think) were auctioning...yes...AUCTIONING  for having the honor of coming up to the podium and holding the Torah or saying a grace or prayer.  I witnessed one man who bid $500 dollars for his wife to go up and hold the Torah for about 5 min. (Thats $100 per min btw)."--Again, she claims to be this "student" yet she doesn't know who leads a Jewish congregation.  But I will admit, I would like to see an auction like that.  "Up next in the auction, a chance to hold an actual Torah, rumored to have been looked at by Moses himself.  Do I hear 500 dollars?"  But Maria does know her math...

"The main auditorium has multi-million dollar glass chandeliers..like 4 of them."--Maria is a student of culture, AND multi-million dollar interior design.  

"This place reminded me of bible study when Jesus Christ threw a tantrum when he saw the Jews doing business in the holy temple."--I grew up Catholic, and I don't remember the part of the Bible where Jesus threw a tantrum.  "I told you Jews, no business in the Holy Temple!"  

"I also suggest the IRS should look into this, because one of the Persian women told me that this occurs every Saturday."--So now Maria's a whistle-blower.  And now all the cologne and BMW's should make sense to her.  They're Persian.  

"In the end, +1 star for the excellent food provided at the end of the ceremony."--I'm surprised she didn't review the food as well.  So she was offended, but not enough to turn down the food?   

"But I will not be coming back here again because I feel like this is not a real place to worship one's faith. I believe there are other Jewish synagogues that are true to their faith and practice good ethics, and moral behaviors in their place of worship."--Meaning she won't be back because she's too busy reviewing other synagogues, churches, and mosques.

Maria A, YOU GOT YELPED !!!
 

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE

 "LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt.  Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons.  Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year.  Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places.  But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows.  When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow.  When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season.  School just started.  Families are adjusting to their fall schedules.  Whatever!  This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a