Nowhere To Go But Up

I've got news for people who think that it's okay to look down on their server and think that they're better than them, those days are out like A-Rod's testosterone count. (Too soon?)

And in case some of you are wondering, when I say the word "server," I am encompassing the service industry as a whole. Servers, bartenders, bussers, food-runners, hosts, etc. Now that we are on the same page, those of you who think your job is better, or that I have this job is because I don't have a college education, or don't have goals in my life... Eat Glass!

If you've been listening to my podcast, (CLICK HERE,) I have touched on this issue with many of my guests. Truth be told, with tips, I make more per hour than a lot of 9 to 5'ers make in 18 months of work. And the reason why? I have become good at showing people a good time.

With the skill set that I have, I could literally pack my bags tomorrow, fly across the world, and find employment at some bar, or restaurant. The other day, I had some accountant lady bark orders at me, and acted intellectually superior towards me and my co-workers. If that lady were fired tomorrow, she would not have the same ability to find a job as easily as I or anybody else who works in the service industry could. Unless of course there's a huge shortage of asshole accountants that I'm unaware of.

Many of us (servers) have college educations. Or better yet, many servers work a 9 to 5 job, AND also work in the service industry.

Servers have to learn menus, food descriptions, allergens, alcohols, wines, and what goes with what. We've heralded engagements, break-ups, successful business deals, and award winning Oscar parties. We've waited on royalty, celebrities, complainers, people who don't speak English and we can only communicate with them by pointing and charades, people who want breakfast at dinner, vegans (UHG,) people who don't tip, people who are generous, and Persians.

No matter what; we've seen it all, served them all, and at times, wanted to be with them all. So the next time you feel inclined to say, "you're just a server," think again. We probably make more money than you, and work less hours doing it, and put up with all of your crap to be justified to earn it.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter. Party of 1? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

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Comments

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done. Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money. WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian. But I adore this building. So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com . One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers. And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent? So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet. And so on, and so on... Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out. T...

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant. Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10. SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round. This table's too brown. This table's just right." You are not buying real estate. So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous. The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses. And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a...

I'll Show You How to Wait!!!

Customers love being waited on hand and foot. But there are some customers who love to tell me HOW to wait on them hand and foot. I call these customers "waiter watchers." They weigh their waiter down with all of the crap that they tell them they should be doing, and when they should be doing it. One time I was serving a table of five, and everybody had order an appetizer and an entree. But one person in the party had ordered a salad in addition to his appetizer. I asked him when he wanted to have his salad served, and he told me to bring it before everyone got their appetizer. So that's what I did. Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled aside by the guy who is host of the group. "Why did you only bring out the salad and nobody else's food?" He demanded. "Your friend had asked that I bring his salad first so he could get it out of the way, since he ordered more food than everybody else," I pleaded. "You should bring all ...

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