Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Mother's Day Brunch for the Masses Not the Mamas

Mother's Day is almost here.  In honor of the woman who squeezed you out of a hole the size of a lime, you show her your appreciation with Hallmark Cards, corsages, and making a reservation at four different restaurants for brunch.

Why not get her more than one corsage?  Multiple Hallmark Cards?  No?  Making reservations at more than one restaurant is a lame idea as well.

I was glancing over the reservations at my restaurant the other night and saw a long list of people coming in for brunch on Mother's Day.  To a server, this should mean (CHA CHING!)  But working in the industry as long as I have has taught me to not believe anything reservation until I see their annoyed faces crammed into my section.

STOP MAKING RESERVATIONS AT MORE THAN ONE RESTAURANT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHERE THE HELL YOU WANT TO GO!

The restaurant may or may not take a credit card to hold your reservation, so we are counting on you to show up.  And by counting on you, that means that we will be setting up tables to accommodate your party size, schedule the appropriate amount of staff to work for that many reservations--not only on the restaurant floor, but also in the kitchen, and sacrifice time with our own mothers to be at work... serving you.

"But we're not sure where everybody will want to eat?" said by the multiple reservation makers.

How about you decide BEFORE you call or go online to make the reservation?  No?  Still having problems.  I suggest putting all the names of the restaurants that you want to go to in a hat, then blind-fold the one member of your family that is being indecisive to pick out a name, spin them around a couple of times, and then everybody ditch that idiot, walk out the door and go to the first place on the list.  (Besides, you are losing precious Bloody Mary drinking time with all of this wasted decision making.)

Since most people are counting on this Mother's Day to be the best, let's start by making an effort to confirm one reservation, and show up on time.  

Oh, and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro







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