Skip to main content

Mother's Day Brunch for the Masses Not the Mamas

Mother's Day is almost here.  In honor of the woman who squeezed you out of a hole the size of a lime, you show her your appreciation with Hallmark Cards, corsages, and making a reservation at four different restaurants for brunch.

Why not get her more than one corsage?  Multiple Hallmark Cards?  No?  Making reservations at more than one restaurant is a lame idea as well.

I was glancing over the reservations at my restaurant the other night and saw a long list of people coming in for brunch on Mother's Day.  To a server, this should mean (CHA CHING!)  But working in the industry as long as I have has taught me to not believe anything reservation until I see their annoyed faces crammed into my section.

STOP MAKING RESERVATIONS AT MORE THAN ONE RESTAURANT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHERE THE HELL YOU WANT TO GO!

The restaurant may or may not take a credit card to hold your reservation, so we are counting on you to show up.  And by counting on you, that means that we will be setting up tables to accommodate your party size, schedule the appropriate amount of staff to work for that many reservations--not only on the restaurant floor, but also in the kitchen, and sacrifice time with our own mothers to be at work... serving you.

"But we're not sure where everybody will want to eat?" said by the multiple reservation makers.

How about you decide BEFORE you call or go online to make the reservation?  No?  Still having problems.  I suggest putting all the names of the restaurants that you want to go to in a hat, then blind-fold the one member of your family that is being indecisive to pick out a name, spin them around a couple of times, and then everybody ditch that idiot, walk out the door and go to the first place on the list.  (Besides, you are losing precious Bloody Mary drinking time with all of this wasted decision making.)

Since most people are counting on this Mother's Day to be the best, let's start by making an effort to confirm one reservation, and show up on time.  

Oh, and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro







FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h
Post a Comment
Read more

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt.  Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons.  Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year.  Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places.  But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows.  When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow.  When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season.  School just started.  Families are adjusting to their fall schedules.  Whatever!  This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav
Post a Comment
Read more

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  There are ways t
89 comments
Read more