Skip to main content

You Got Yelped !!!

A "good" restaurant experience is not only defined by the food and service, but also by the staff's lifestyle choices.

Meet Chillferd I.  Chillferd, (his parents must have hated him,) likes people who are fit and take care of themselves.  While out at a fine dining establishment one evening, he felt that his server didn't fit into his ideal mold of a human being.


Here is his Yelp review:



"This place needs to hire new staff, (especially the short, chubby guy with a beard and glass.)"
Apparently Chillferd's waiter was Santa Claus.  Santa is hard up for money this year.

"Never had such a rude waiter at a 'fine dining' establishment in my life."
He obviously has never been served by a French waiter before.  (Rim Shot!)

"From the start of the night, he was making condescending comments about our food and drink choices."
But Chillferd, that's offensive to the food and drink, not to you.

"I seriously don't know if this guy hates his life or what!"
Chillferd may be correct on this one.  But it may not be his life that he hates.  The server might just hate you.  

"But if you work in the restaurant industry you choose a path of serving and doing your best to make the night a good memory.  That's what you get paid to do!!!  He never had a smile on his face and looked like he had been constipated for 2 weeks."
So now Chillferd is a Gastroenterologist.  Maybe that's why he was making those comments about your food choices.  He was trying to steer you in the right direction.  (Wink! Wink!)

Dear Chillferd,

For Christmas, maybe you could wish for a restaurant with a thin waitstaff who is clean shaven, doesn't have any sight problems, and does the "Master Cleanse" often.

I hope Santa will give you everything you want this year.  But he might not have time considering he is still trying to get his Christmas Eve shift covered at the restaurant.

Merry Christmas!

Bitter

P.S.  YOU GOT YELPED!!!  

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro




 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Letter to Yelpers

Dear Yelpers:

You think you're smart.  Nope.  You think you're cool.  Wrong again.  You think this is the popularity that you have been yearning to have since high school.  (BUZZ!)  Incorrect.

It's time for you to take the energy that you put into your Yelping, and focus your attention on yourself.  Your "opinion" is not important.  The fact that your meal was ruined by the color of your server's apron, or the shape of the plates, or that they didn't give you anything for free on your birthday just means that you were not a planned pregnancy, and you should be grateful that you made it to full term.

Ouch!  That hurts, doesn't it?  Well, do you think that destroying someone's business is okay?  That demeaning your server or bartender makes you look like you know what you're talking about?  If your opinion REALLY mattered, (it doesn't,) then you should crawl out from your hiding space where you Yelp on your laptop, and talk to someone face-…

Cover My Shift!!!

The anxiety of trying to get your shift covered at a serving job ranks up there with wondering if the pee stick is going to turn positive or negative after a long night of having shots with your coworkers, and you ended up hooking up with one of them.  Eventually, the pregnancy scare turns out to be negative, you get your shift covered, and everything is right with the world.

But trying to get your shift covered is never easy.  Especially when you feel like you go out of your way to cover other people's shifts when they ask, but when the time comes for you to ask them, it becomes an entire ordeal.

"Hey Steve, would you be able to cover my shift next Wednesday night?  My parents are going to be in town," I asked last Saturday night.

"I might be able to, but I won't know until Tuesday.  Can I get back to you then?" Steve replied.

"That's cutting it close," I said.  "Would you be able to tell me by Monday?"

"I can't cause I h…

Don't Forget Your Teeth

An older lady was dining with her husband, granddaughter, and her granddaughter's boyfriend one night, when the old lady turns to me and says,

"What do you have that's soft to eat?  I forgot my teeth."

Who the hell forgets their teeth?  Let me get this straight, when you looked at yourself in the mirror before you left, you didn't notice something was missing when you smiled?


"I know how you feel," I said, "sometimes I forget my phone.  I feel lost without it."  She just looked at me as if she didn't know what I meant by that because she still uses a rotary phone.  (Look it up.)

I explained that we have soups that she could have, but she was concerned about her choices for salad.  She and her family were using a Groupon, so they had to select from the items on the prefixed menu.

"Is the salad soft?" she asked.

"I could have the kitchen chop it fine for you.  That would make it easier to eat." I replied.  I was also g…