Skip to main content

Not A Resolution

This past new year's eve was one of the busiest that I have ever worked in my service industry life.  I was behind the bar and it was insanity.  At the end, I was exhaustedly-happy, but for most of the night I was elbows deep in the ice and wait times for drinks was reaching 30 minutes.

To let everybody know, I don't have a rhyme or reason how I go from customer to customer while bartending.  It's really about who gets my attention first, and me remembering whom I think is next.  To all of the people who thought I was rude and was making you wait on purpose, well, I did.  Some of you were jerks and have serious drug and alcohol problems.  To the few who were actually nice and actually wished me a happy new year, (only four people did,) I'm sorry you waited.  When it's that busy none of Jon Taffer's rules apply.  But I did think of them.

Speaking of Taffer, when it finally slowed down, there was one guy at my bar who wanted me to do the "generous tip" pour.  I played dumb.

"Pour a lot and I'll tip you for it," the guy begged.

"What would Jon Taffer say?" I asked.

"I'm really glad you just said that," the guy smirked, and then he handed me his business card.  He is one of the heads of Spike TV.  "I buy all the shows for Spike."

"Now I know where to pitch my sitcoms."

"Were not buying scripted television right now," he conceded.

Trumped by reality television.  And he really wanted me to pour extra alcohol in his drink.  Some people think they're above Taffer law.

Nobody seemed to want to rescue me at this bar.  Later, at 2 am, a different guy came up to my bar and tried to get a drink.

"Can I get a glass of champagne," he stumbled.

"We're closed," I abruptly said.

"Not even just a little bit.  So I can toast the new year?"

"Remember that countdown thing everybody did two hours ago?  That was your chance to toast the new year."

He left.  Pissed off into the new year.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro





FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  T...

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a...

I'll Show You How to Wait!!!

Customers love being waited on hand and foot.  But there are some customers who love to tell me HOW to wait on them hand and foot.  I call these customers "waiter watchers."  They weigh their waiter down with all of the crap that they tell them they should be doing, and when they should be doing it. One time I was serving a table of five, and everybody had order an appetizer and an entree.  But one person in the party had ordered a salad in addition to his appetizer.  I asked him when he wanted to have his salad served, and he told me to bring it before everyone got their appetizer.  So that's what I did.  Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled aside by the guy who is host of the group. "Why did you only bring out the salad and nobody else's food?"  He demanded. "Your friend had asked that I bring his salad first so he could get it out of the way, since he ordered more food than everybody else," I pleaded. "You should bring all ...