Skip to main content

Yelp is Ruining America

I write a lot of posts about my disdain for Yelp, but I have never really given a full explanation of why I feel compelled to call out these people who write these dissertations and have the nerve to call them reviews.  In short, Yelp represents everything that is wrong with society, and has given people the opportunity to be mean while hiding behind a keyboard.  I hate Yelp.

I believe that Yelp actually started out as a useful resource.  It gave people the address and number of businesses, with a quick explanation of what they are about, and a casual review by patrons who either liked or disliked their experience at the place.  But that quickly dissolved as Yelp welcomed people to create profiles and openly bash and berate businesses, and rewarded these so-called "reviewers" with an "elite" status on the their Yelp profile.  Which is basically nothing more than a fancy badge to put on your profile page, and you're invited to the "Elite Yelp Squad" events that are held in your city.  Which means that if you are a nasty person and are looking to hang out with people with common interests as your nasty self; there's a place for you.  But of course, nobody would show up at these events, because they fear talking to people face-to-face.

But of course, my interest lies more with the Yelp reviews of the service industry.  Wouldn't it be just as useful to write "the food was good, but not great," or, "the service probably would have been faster had they not been so busy," or whatever.  As opposed to,

"Firstly, for a slow Monday night, our service was lack luster, but that was just par for the course.  We started with the oysters with red pepper stuffing.  It tasted fine, however, the stuffing was way too much for the oysters and I ended up eating the last few sans stuffing so I could actually taste the shellfish.  The salmon was good.  A tad over cooked for my taste, but the flavors matched well with the barley and it was a good portion. Nothing too impressive.  Finally, dessert consisted of a trio of creme brulee...not bad, not fantastic...which describes my entire evening."

Maybe it's just me, but the details in this review are not needed.  And believe it or not, that was one of the shorter examples I could find on Yelp.  Also, they have boxes at the bottom of the reviews for you to click if you thought the review was "useful" "funny" or "cool."  So even Yelp acknowledges the stupidity of these reviews.  But interestingly enough, Yelp may have screwed the pooch because they have been brought up on many class action lawsuits, and have been accused of extortion on many accounts.  Yelp Being Sued.  But I will be nice and throw them a bone and say, allegedly accused.

Also, these "Yelpers" have even specifically named servers and bartenders in their moronic essays.  Would good does that do?  Other than jeopardize that individuals job, which they probably were already reprimanded for, and now they have been slandered.  All because you--the Yelper--feel like you know everything about service and cuisine ever since you started watching shows like "Kitchen Nightmares," and "Top Chef."

I know I've said this before, and it's not in our culture, but if you are that unhappy with your food or service, you should say something to the server or the manager.  You are paying for it for Pete's sake.  Get what you want!

It's sad, because long gone are the days of Vidal Sassoon's mantra, "and they'll tell two friends... and they'll tell two friends... and so on."  Word of mouth is no more.  And if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all has changed to if you can't say something nice, just write about it on Yelp.  Aw, the humanity!!!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro





FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a

You Got Yelped!!!

As my quest to take down Yelp.com continues, I found another Yelper who continually pushes the boundaries of common decency, and deserves to be outed.  So here I go: Meet Ben P . Or, excuse me, Ben "Benitos" P.  (Whatever the hell that means!)  He seemed to have found his way into Beverly Hills and expected the red carpet to be rolled out for him because he thinks that he is somebody.  Actually, he claims to be a(n) "Iron Yelper America," as it says on his Yelp profile.  When in actuality, Ben is no more than one of the many disillusioned Yelpers who probably should've gotten his ass kicked a bit more on the playground when he was a kid.  (Again, I don't condone violence, but there is something to be said for somebody FINALLY learning their lesson.) Wow I knew going in this place was not going to be good. Right from the start?  How have you made this far in life, Ben?  That should've been the moment for you to turn around and leave.  And not

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  There are ways t