Skip to main content

Kryptonian Old Men


I've never understood why "older" people always think that the music is too loud, but yet, they always yell "WHAT!" whenever I am talking to them face-to-face.  It must be a case of very selective hearing, or a matter of habit.  But nonetheless, it is humorous whenever it happens.  I find most of the antics that "older" people do are funny, and unfiltered.  And yes, I am putting this demographic in quotes because I don't want to just say old people, or worse yet, old bags, and piss off a good portion of my readers.

On a recent shift, my section was filled with an "older" clientele.  It reminded me when I used to work at The Gardens on Glendon in Westwood, CA.  The owners, Marilyn and Harry Lewis, used to own all of the Hamburger Hamlet around Los Angeles.  The Gardens (former Hamlet Gardens) was their fine dining experience.  That was back in the day.  But by the time I started working there, it had become a mess hall at a convalescent home.


So like I said, I was busy running J&B scotch on the rocks, and Dubonnets to my four tops.  I had one table on the end of my section that was still open.  The lead hostess at my work made sure to seat that table as quickly as possible to ensure that I stayed "weeded" throughout my entire shift.  That was protocol.

Three "older" people were sat at that table.  An "older" couple with their third wheel "older" friend.  This table was the oldest of my section.  But I have a way with this clientele.  I think they see me as some type of grandson that they can boss around for a couple of hours without giving me any birthday money.  Right away, the third wheel asks me,

"Is this the quietest section you have?"

"The noise level is pretty equal throughout the entire restaurant," I replied.

Then he motioned to the couples seating next to them.  "They are talking loud."

"Well I'll put a stop to that," I said.  Just to acknowledge that I had heard what he said.  What the hell was I supposed to do.  Make an announcement:

"MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.  DO TO RECENT COMPLAINTS OF LOUD TALKING, WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE STOP HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME!!!  THANK YOU."

Somehow, I managed to make sure everybody had a good time that night.  Or so I thought.  Here's where the "older" guy got one in on me.  Everybody was done.  My two four tops had already paid their checks, and were just finishing up their coffees and conversations.  Next thing I know, the third wheel from my last table turns to the four top and starts talking to them.  I just figured that he may have known them.  But the lady from the four top looks at me with a look of "can you f#$king believe this guy?"  I quickly go over to her and she says that the third wheel told them that they are talking too loud and should keep it down.  That's when I noticed that her husband sitting across from her was in a heated argument with the third wheel.  She calmed her husband down, and they left in a huff.  I'm just glad that I already got their tip before this happened or this blog post would've had a completely different premise.

The three top was my last table.  I picked up their signed check and the third wheel says,

"I couldn't hear the conversation at my own table because those couples were talking so loud!  So I told them to keep it down.  You should have done that," he protested.

"It must be a burden with that super hearing.  I'm surprised you were able to sit still when the fire trucks screamed by.  By the way, I love your son's new movie-- Man of Steel."

Kryptonians are so demanding!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE        

Comments

Anonymous said…
The worst is when they always ask to turn down the music or air. Noooooooooo!!!! What if someone else get's hot or likes the music volume...selfish!!!

Popular posts from this blog

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt.  Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons.  Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year.  Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places.  But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows.  When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow.  When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season.  School just started.  Families are adjusting to their fall schedules.  Whatever!  This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a