Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Butter Knife

I've noticed that the majority of customers that come into my restaurant know which silverware to eat with for each course.  But this blog is not for the majority of customers that come into my restaurant, it is for the the people who live life on the edge, by trying to cut their steak with a butter knife.

I'm talking about the short knife that is on the edge of the small bread plate that is to the left of your salad fork.  Sorry, I know I just dropped a lot of knowledge just now, but try to keep up.  If it were up to me, we would just use sporks and a steak knife for everything.  But that is not the world we live in.

We live in a world where a customer yells at me to bring them another knife, or asks me why their drink is taking so long to get to them, and I have to point out that the knife and drink that they asked for the first time, is sitting right-in-fricking-front-of-them.

"Anything else I can get for you right now?  I didn't think so."

Pay attention, please!  Get off your phone, stop texting imaginary people who you think care about you when you are sitting next to someone doing the exact same thing.  And use the butter knife to butter your bread; the small fork for your salad; the big fork for your entree.  And use your big knife for your entree or steak knife for the same.

And please don't steal any of the above said items.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."


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