Skip to main content

Less Ice, More Alcohol

I survived another Halloween shift at work but not without my fair share of comments from peeps trying to get the most alcohol for their buck.

I get it.  It's Halloween and people want to drink and get crazy.  I stepped away from the serving scene for the night, dusted off my bar tools, and got back behind the bar for a night of freaks, sluts, and bingers.  And that was just the employees.  (Rim shot!)

For some reason, people have this belief that too much ice is damaging to their drink.  As a bartender, when you make a cocktail, you start out by filling the glass to the top with ice.  The reason for that is to ensure that the alcohol stays at the proper temperature.  Most bars nowadays have the type of ice that doesn't melt as easily as ice that looks like it's "wet."  It's the ice that is not clear.  Cocktails that are made by not filling the glass full of ice will be diluted, because the amount of alcohol causes the ice to melt.  But more ice just keeps the alcohol cool... as ice.  Here is an interesting alcohol about ice.

So people kept asking me to dump out some of the ice.  My initial response is, "Haven't you watched Bar Rescue?"  Most looked at me weird and just beg for their drink.  But I even took the time to prove the theory by making two drinks side-by-side.  The one with less ice melted.  The one with full ice didn't melt and looked better.  But who am I to be right?

Then I would hear this comment:

"I can't taste any alcohol in this.  Can you put some more alcohol in my drink?"

My answer is always, "NO!"  Yes, there is alcohol in the drink.  And just because there's less ice doesn't mean that I'm going to make up for it with more alcohol.  For most of the people at the party that night, the reason why you couldn't taste the alcohol was because you were high on cocaine.

My favorite part of that night was when this short man came up to my bar.  He was dressed as an astronaut.  My ice bin was directly behind the counter ledge of my portable bar.  This guy had a lit cigarette and he kept waving it over my ice.  So I had to follow his cigarette around with my ice scoop like that scene from "16 Candles."  ..."Viola!  Breakfast is served."

Sure enough, he drops his cigarette in my ice.  I immediately grab it and throw it down on the ground.  Then this little man flips out.

"Why did you do that?"

"Your cigarette was in my ice," I told him.

"So!  Now I'm not going to tip you!" he yelled.

Then without missing a beat, everybody else in line pushed him aside and said, "I'll tip you."

Step aside little astronaut.  And no, you're not getting more alcohol or less ice.  

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro




FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h
Post a Comment
Read more

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  There are ways t
89 comments
Read more

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a
31 comments
Read more