It's been incredibly hot in Los Angeles the past couple of weeks. The kind of heat that makes me want to lie down on the tile floor next to my dog and close my eyes until it's over. The last thing I want to do is put on my powder blue-long sleeve-button down shirt and clock in and wait tables. But somehow, I've convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, even though I get armpit sweat stains within five minutes of being on the floor.
It's not entirely my fault, the place I'm at right now decided to save a few bucks by not putting in AC. I guess they figured that nobody would notice. But it gets so warm on the outside patio (with a retractable roof) that you can actually smell the food cooking when it reaches the customer's table.
"Can you turn on the air?" a customer asked me one afternoon.
"It's on," I replied.
"Would you mind turning it up?" she asked.
"Well, it's natural AC, so the only way to control it is when God decides to add wind," I answered as I mopped my brow.
Most of the customers didn't even make it that far. They try to bare the heat for as long as they can, but then ended up moving to the inside or worse, leaving the restaurant entirely. But through the haze of the 95 degree heat and humidity, I still got the one question that baffles me on a hot day...
"What are your soups today?"
Soup? Is the theory behind this to ingest hot-ness into your body to make it hotter than the outside and therefore cooling you off? What kind of wack-job are you? But I had to answer.
"We have broccoli-asparagus soup, and barley. Both of those are HOT SOUPS. Just to let you know. We don't have any cold soups today. Just HOT ONES," I replied.
"I'll have the first one. And a hot water with lemon."
UHG! I wonder if Jesus had days like these...
Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.
"Bitter. Party of 1? Your table is ready."
The Bitter Bistro
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