Happy Future Holidays!!!

Today we give thanks. Thanksgiving is upon us. I will be working, serving "holiday people." Remember, those are people who are so horrible, that they weren't invited into anybody's house because they're assholes! (Thanks to Joe Kelly!) But if you happen to be some of the few families that are dining out, please remember that it's your server's or bartender's holiday too.

Tomorrow is "Black Friday." Originally the meaning of this horrid day was the start of the Christmas shopping season, and the point when retailers would start to turn a profit, and were "in the black." Now I feel it is called "Black Friday" because of the color of people's hearts that venture out to conquer the best deals possible, at the expense of their souls. And not just the shopper's souls, but retailers as well. (Apple's deal on iPads today saves you a whole $45.00! Woo Hoo! Now I can finally buy that iPad AND fill up my gas tank!)

You can't even enjoy the current holiday anymore because you are constantly being made aware of the holiday that is coming up next. Stores are putting up holiday decorations, and the music to fit earlier and earlier. Starbucks started to offer the "holiday lattes" a couple of days before Halloween. And they try to be cute with their chalkboard signs that say, "Can't wait for the holidays to enjoy your favorite lattes? Wait no longer. Get your Christmas Latte before you go out trick-or-treating tonight!"

Believe it or not, I actually do enjoy the holidays. It puts me in a good mood, the California winters are beautiful, chilly, but tolerable (sorry Lou's mom,) and my entire family gets together for merriment and mirth. But the way that the holidays are blended together now, makes it seems like September through December is one 30 day month. Next thing you know, some advertising agency is going to switch the days of the holidays, and we'll be celebrating Christmas on Halloween, Thanksgiving on Labor Day, and Halloween on Summer Solstice.

Stay in the present. Focus on what's important. And fucking tip your server and bartender!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter. Party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done. Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money. WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian. But I adore this building. So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com . One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers. And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent? So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet. And so on, and so on... Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out. T...

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant. Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10. SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round. This table's too brown. This table's just right." You are not buying real estate. So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous. The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses. And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a...

I'll Show You How to Wait!!!

Customers love being waited on hand and foot. But there are some customers who love to tell me HOW to wait on them hand and foot. I call these customers "waiter watchers." They weigh their waiter down with all of the crap that they tell them they should be doing, and when they should be doing it. One time I was serving a table of five, and everybody had order an appetizer and an entree. But one person in the party had ordered a salad in addition to his appetizer. I asked him when he wanted to have his salad served, and he told me to bring it before everyone got their appetizer. So that's what I did. Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled aside by the guy who is host of the group. "Why did you only bring out the salad and nobody else's food?" He demanded. "Your friend had asked that I bring his salad first so he could get it out of the way, since he ordered more food than everybody else," I pleaded. "You should bring all ...

The Bitter Bistro

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