Monday, January 12, 2009


(Re post from May 14th, 2007.)

This week, we'll explore the finer points of "non-verbal" signals. Many people are big believers in the "clean plate club." (I am actually "sergeant-at-arms" of this club.) But let's help our wait-staff out by placing your fork and knives diagonally across your plate when you're finished eating. That way, your server or busser knows to take your plate. This leaves more room for you to place appropriate body parts on the table... (Arms... Elbows...and Boobs.) And try to leave glasses or cups to the side of your place setting. This helps by leaving the space in front of you free and clean so the food runner can neatly place another plate of food in front of you. (If you have more food coming, of course.) This way, the "runner" doesn't have to stick his arm pit in your face and play a quick game of "twister" with you, while trying to make room for your plate of food. All in all, keep it simple, and keep it neat. Nobody likes to make your dining experience a game a "tetris."

Remember, Bartenders and Servers don't pay their rent with compliments.

Until next time,

Bitter? Party of one. Your table is ready.

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