Skip to main content

The Bitter Bistro Throughout the Last Decade--Year 2012

The past decade brought me such wonderful things like, customers who have peed on lounge floors, customers who have yelled at me from across the restaurant because they wanted to know if "anybody worked here," and customers who seem to think that purchasing an item entitles them to stay well-passed closing.

That last one is a bitch!  Because closing time has always been a sensitive subject for people who work in the service industry.  Why?  Because we want to go f@*king home!  I'm all for you having a good time and enjoying your dining experience, but when it's time to close, GTFO!

It's been an on-going problem throughout the past decade.  This was my post from 2012.


I now finally understand where the inspiration came from Semisonic's song, "Closing Time."  They HAD  to have worked in the service industry!   Because where else do people feel compelled to continue to hang out and try to order more things than a restaurant that is ALREADY closed.

Eat, drink, and be merry.  But when the kitchen is closed, it's frigging closed!  And stop with these questions:

"Is the kitchen really closed?  Or can they still make a pizza?"  One customer continued to ask.

"Let me go check."  I say, but don't move an inch.  "I'm sorry, but the kitchen is still closed."

And the people that seem to have the biggest problem with this are the people who are over an hour late for their reservation, don't call, and still expect to be treated like the customers who had actually showed up on-time.

"Can you just give us five more minutes?  We're still expecting six more people."  A hairy guy when an accent asked.

"Unfortunately the kitchen closes in ten minutes, so I really need to get your order in now."

"But we had a reservation for dinner."

"Yes.  But your reservation was for 8:30.  It's now 10:50.  We'll be setting up for breakfast soon."

It's not real-estate.  You don't get to hold the table and kitchen like a rental property.  When the sign says, "CLOSED," trust them that it is, and go home, and next time, show up on-time... please.

Since when did saying "we are closed" mean that it takes people an hour and a half to leave?!?  It takes my wife and me with our toddler less time to leave a family party than it does for customers to leave a closed restaurant.  Just say "goodbye" and walk out the door!

This past Christmas Eve we had some of our "regulars" make a late reservation.  My manager decided to look out for the staff and call them to say that we will be closing early, since it's Christmas Eve, and to see if they would mind coming in earlier so the staff could make it home at a decent hour to spend time with their families, friends, or drug habits.  The regulars said, "okay, we won't stay long."

I was the closing server, and they stayed long!  And they complained about everything.  Because yes, they're regulars, but they're complaining regulars, so that makes me regularly hate them.  (One of them ordered a Turkey Burger, well done, but it wasn't done "well" enough.)  But because they were regulars, and even though they were told that we were going to close early, they had decided that they would stay past closing time.  Even though I had given them last call for food and alcohol an hour and a half prior to them finally getting their entitled asses out of the seats and out the door.

"Merry Christmas," I say as they leave.

"We don't celebrate Christmas," one of them said as she downed her last few sips of her Aperol Spritz.

"Well, Santa won't come to your house unless you get home to bed."

"Wait, are we the last ones here?"  They ask.

"No.  The cleaning crew showed up 30 minutes after we closed.  They've been waiting to start cleaning for an hour!"

 Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro
TWITTER CLICK HERE
PODCAST CLICK HERE
FACEBOOK CLICK HERE
INSTAGRAM CLICK HERE



















Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt.  Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons.  Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year.  Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places.  But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows.  When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow.  When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season.  School just started.  Families are adjusting to their fall schedules.  Whatever!  This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a