Skip to main content

Check Yo Self!

When Ice Cube rapped about "Check Yo'self before you wreckidity-wreck Yo'self," I don't think he meant writing an ACTUAL check to pay for something in a place that normally doesn't accept checks.  But in 2014, we have come across a customer who wants to pay for his individual dinner, with a check.

This didn't even happen to me.  It happened to my buddy Max during his shift.  It had been an extremely weird week at work.  The night prior, I had my encounter with Steak Tits, and now Max was dealing with a character that even Stephen King couldn't make up.

An older gentleman, (and I use that term loosely,) wearing a gold velour jumpsuit, sat in Max's section one fateful night and decided to have his fill of alcohol and food.  And let me repeat... wearing a gold velour jumpsuit.

Our hostess Dana sat him, and the man paid no attention to her.  Then Max took over and suddenly the guy became increasingly infatuated with Dana, even though he completely ignored her.

"What's the name of the girl who sat me?' he asked.

"Dana," Max said.  He wasn't giving away any information that wasn't already available if you just looked at her nametag.

"Can you send her over here?  I want to talk to her."

"She's busy," Max replied.

"Well what's Dana's last name?"

"Oh, it's hostess.  Dana hostess."

At that point,  Max told Dana to go to the kitchen because this man, wearing the gold velour jumpsuit, was weirding him out, and thought it would be best for Dana to flee.

The man eats his meal and Max brings him his check.  The man proceeds to pull out his checkbook and begins filling out his information.

"Sir, we don't take checks.  We'll accept cash or credit card, but no checks," Max told him.

For me, I didn't even think they printed checks anymore.  Save a tree people!

"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY BUSINESS!  I DO MY BUSINESS MY OWN WAY!" he stated.  "And tell Dana I want to talk to her."

"She's on her break.  She won't be back for awhile.  And we still can't take checks."

Max went and got our supervisor who told the man the same thing Max did, and the man, wearing the gold velour jumpsuit made the same statement.  The man wrote his check, put it in the check presenter and gave it to Max.

Max opened the check presenter and looked at the check.  No joke, he wrote the check for 1 Trillion Dollars... AND... on the check he wrote,

"50 Million Dollar tip to Dana."

They ended up calling the cops and they took him away crying like a baby.  But this is what I am talking about!  We are not just servers or bartenders.  We deal with the wack and the wacky.  Be nice to your server, we deserve it.

And BTW, even though Dana is now a millionairess, she still kept her job hostessing.

It doesn't get any BITTER than this!

Ice Cube - Check Yo Self (1992) from Golden Era Videos on Vimeo.
Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.  "

Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."








TWITTER
PODCAST
FACEBOOK
THE BITTER BISTRO

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  T...
89 comments
Read more

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a...
31 comments
Read more

I'll Show You How to Wait!!!

Customers love being waited on hand and foot.  But there are some customers who love to tell me HOW to wait on them hand and foot.  I call these customers "waiter watchers."  They weigh their waiter down with all of the crap that they tell them they should be doing, and when they should be doing it. One time I was serving a table of five, and everybody had order an appetizer and an entree.  But one person in the party had ordered a salad in addition to his appetizer.  I asked him when he wanted to have his salad served, and he told me to bring it before everyone got their appetizer.  So that's what I did.  Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled aside by the guy who is host of the group. "Why did you only bring out the salad and nobody else's food?"  He demanded. "Your friend had asked that I bring his salad first so he could get it out of the way, since he ordered more food than everybody else," I pleaded. "You should bring all ...
12 comments
Read more