Friday, April 11, 2014

Craigslist Jobs You Don't Want

I wrote a post last week called 5 Ways to get A GOOD Restaurant Job.  I've decided to continue to help everyone out by perusing Craigslist for service industry jobs.  There is actually a lot of job openings right now.  But just because there is a lot, doesn't mean that they are all good.

So I've pulled some of my favorite posts that probably should be flagged, but I would rather comment on them.  

 Bikini Bartenders Wanted ***Immediate Openings*** (Long Beach)

New bikini bar has immediate openings available. Start work immediately.

Text bikini photo and brief description of bartending experience for an interview.

Adam (562) 400-9651

Adam, what the hell is your problem?  Text a bikini photo to him?  Uhm... no!  However, I do encourage all of my guy friends to text him some photos.  Bikini optional.  And I’m sure this “bar” is located at Adam’s place.  How convenient!  Run, just run away from this post.  This interview involves a gross couch, a ball gag, and some goats.  Maybe Adam should get crank called.

WOW!  I cannot think of any greater joy in the world than cleaning.  I know, it’s not a typical service industry job, but I had to post this one.  And what kind of awards does a housekeeping team win? 

“And the award for best dust-busting goes to… THE HAMPTON SUITES.”  And the acceptance speech, “It’s an honor just to be nominated with all of these exceptional cleaners.  We would like to thank Black and Decker for making such fine dust-busters.  Windex, 409… oh, they're playing us off.  Thanks to our GM for the new uniforms, and remember, if you love what you do, you’ll never have to work again.”

 Hooters Needs Assistant Managers! (Los Angeles)

compensation: Competitive + Benefits
Hooters is a one-of-a-kind concept, and we are looking for dynamic, high-energy business leaders to join our team as Managers In Training! Managers are responsible for:
• Ensuring exceptional guest service;
• Running Restaurant Operations;
• Interviewing, Coaching and Counseling;
• Building and Driving Sales.
Must be willing to work long hours (50-60 hours per week), holidays, nights and weekends. Managers must be able to make decisions, and must be able to execute within Hooters systems and standards.

Where do I begin with this one?  Who the hell is “willing” to work 60 hours a week?  Well, maybe the award winning cleaning team.  Responsible for interviewing, coaching, and counseling.  So, you have to provide therapy for the Hooter’s wait staff.  

“Jasmine, you don’t seem like yourself lately?  Is everything okay at home?  Maybe you should try a different push-up bra.”

But my favorite part of this post, the managers MUST be able to make decisions.  So the job interview involves something like,

“What is your favorite day of the week?  (Blank stare.)  NEXT!?”

It doesn't get any BITTER than this!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro


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