Skip to main content

Craigslist Jobs You Don't Want

I wrote a post last week called 5 Ways to get A GOOD Restaurant Job.  I've decided to continue to help everyone out by perusing Craigslist for service industry jobs.  There is actually a lot of job openings right now.  But just because there is a lot, doesn't mean that they are all good.

So I've pulled some of my favorite posts that probably should be flagged, but I would rather comment on them.  


 Bikini Bartenders Wanted ***Immediate Openings*** (Long Beach)



New bikini bar has immediate openings available. Start work immediately.

Text bikini photo and brief description of bartending experience for an interview.

Adam (562) 400-9651

Adam, what the hell is your problem?  Text a bikini photo to him?  Uhm... no!  However, I do encourage all of my guy friends to text him some photos.  Bikini optional.  And I’m sure this “bar” is located at Adam’s place.  How convenient!  Run, just run away from this post.  This interview involves a gross couch, a ball gag, and some goats.  Maybe Adam should get crank called.



WOW!  I cannot think of any greater joy in the world than cleaning.  I know, it’s not a typical service industry job, but I had to post this one.  And what kind of awards does a housekeeping team win? 

“And the award for best dust-busting goes to… THE HAMPTON SUITES.”  And the acceptance speech, “It’s an honor just to be nominated with all of these exceptional cleaners.  We would like to thank Black and Decker for making such fine dust-busters.  Windex, 409… oh, they're playing us off.  Thanks to our GM for the new uniforms, and remember, if you love what you do, you’ll never have to work again.”


 Hooters Needs Assistant Managers! (Los Angeles)



compensation: Competitive + Benefits
Hooters is a one-of-a-kind concept, and we are looking for dynamic, high-energy business leaders to join our team as Managers In Training! Managers are responsible for:
• Ensuring exceptional guest service;
• Running Restaurant Operations;
• Interviewing, Coaching and Counseling;
• Building and Driving Sales.
Must be willing to work long hours (50-60 hours per week), holidays, nights and weekends. Managers must be able to make decisions, and must be able to execute within Hooters systems and standards.

Where do I begin with this one?  Who the hell is “willing” to work 60 hours a week?  Well, maybe the award winning cleaning team.  Responsible for interviewing, coaching, and counseling.  So, you have to provide therapy for the Hooter’s wait staff.  

“Jasmine, you don’t seem like yourself lately?  Is everything okay at home?  Maybe you should try a different push-up bra.”


But my favorite part of this post, the managers MUST be able to make decisions.  So the job interview involves something like,

“What is your favorite day of the week?  (Blank stare.)  NEXT!?”

It doesn't get any BITTER than this!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."


The Bitter Bistro






FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt.  Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons.  Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year.  Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places.  But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows.  When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow.  When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season.  School just started.  Families are adjusting to their fall schedules.  Whatever!  This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  There are ways t