Skip to main content

Craigslist Jobs You Don't Want

I wrote a post last week called 5 Ways to get A GOOD Restaurant Job.  I've decided to continue to help everyone out by perusing Craigslist for service industry jobs.  There is actually a lot of job openings right now.  But just because there is a lot, doesn't mean that they are all good.

So I've pulled some of my favorite posts that probably should be flagged, but I would rather comment on them.  


 Bikini Bartenders Wanted ***Immediate Openings*** (Long Beach)



New bikini bar has immediate openings available. Start work immediately.

Text bikini photo and brief description of bartending experience for an interview.

Adam (562) 400-9651

Adam, what the hell is your problem?  Text a bikini photo to him?  Uhm... no!  However, I do encourage all of my guy friends to text him some photos.  Bikini optional.  And I’m sure this “bar” is located at Adam’s place.  How convenient!  Run, just run away from this post.  This interview involves a gross couch, a ball gag, and some goats.  Maybe Adam should get crank called.



WOW!  I cannot think of any greater joy in the world than cleaning.  I know, it’s not a typical service industry job, but I had to post this one.  And what kind of awards does a housekeeping team win? 

“And the award for best dust-busting goes to… THE HAMPTON SUITES.”  And the acceptance speech, “It’s an honor just to be nominated with all of these exceptional cleaners.  We would like to thank Black and Decker for making such fine dust-busters.  Windex, 409… oh, they're playing us off.  Thanks to our GM for the new uniforms, and remember, if you love what you do, you’ll never have to work again.”


 Hooters Needs Assistant Managers! (Los Angeles)



compensation: Competitive + Benefits
Hooters is a one-of-a-kind concept, and we are looking for dynamic, high-energy business leaders to join our team as Managers In Training! Managers are responsible for:
• Ensuring exceptional guest service;
• Running Restaurant Operations;
• Interviewing, Coaching and Counseling;
• Building and Driving Sales.
Must be willing to work long hours (50-60 hours per week), holidays, nights and weekends. Managers must be able to make decisions, and must be able to execute within Hooters systems and standards.

Where do I begin with this one?  Who the hell is “willing” to work 60 hours a week?  Well, maybe the award winning cleaning team.  Responsible for interviewing, coaching, and counseling.  So, you have to provide therapy for the Hooter’s wait staff.  

“Jasmine, you don’t seem like yourself lately?  Is everything okay at home?  Maybe you should try a different push-up bra.”


But my favorite part of this post, the managers MUST be able to make decisions.  So the job interview involves something like,

“What is your favorite day of the week?  (Blank stare.)  NEXT!?”

It doesn't get any BITTER than this!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready."


The Bitter Bistro






FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER CLICK HERE
"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK CLICK HERE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out.

10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU
"This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking around…

A Letter to Yelpers

Dear Yelpers:

You think you're smart.  Nope.  You think you're cool.  Wrong again.  You think this is the popularity that you have been yearning to have since high school.  (BUZZ!)  Incorrect.

It's time for you to take the energy that you put into your Yelping, and focus your attention on yourself.  Your "opinion" is not important.  The fact that your meal was ruined by the color of your server's apron, or the shape of the plates, or that they didn't give you anything for free on your birthday just means that you were not a planned pregnancy, and you should be grateful that you made it to full term.

Ouch!  That hurts, doesn't it?  Well, do you think that destroying someone's business is okay?  That demeaning your server or bartender makes you look like you know what you're talking about?  If your opinion REALLY mattered, (it doesn't,) then you should crawl out from your hiding space where you Yelp on your laptop, and talk to someone face-…

Cover My Shift!!!

The anxiety of trying to get your shift covered at a serving job ranks up there with wondering if the pee stick is going to turn positive or negative after a long night of having shots with your coworkers, and you ended up hooking up with one of them.  Eventually, the pregnancy scare turns out to be negative, you get your shift covered, and everything is right with the world.

But trying to get your shift covered is never easy.  Especially when you feel like you go out of your way to cover other people's shifts when they ask, but when the time comes for you to ask them, it becomes an entire ordeal.

"Hey Steve, would you be able to cover my shift next Wednesday night?  My parents are going to be in town," I asked last Saturday night.

"I might be able to, but I won't know until Tuesday.  Can I get back to you then?" Steve replied.

"That's cutting it close," I said.  "Would you be able to tell me by Monday?"

"I can't cause I h…