I always loved the old "Mentos" campaign which showed that you could get out of any of life's dilemmas simply by taking a step back, popping a Mentos into your mouth, and immediately be struck with a creative sense of resourcefulness to get what you wanted. If it were that easy, I would've been popping Mentos throughout my entire service industry career.
I understand when your food comes out wrong you're upset because you are hungry and now we have to find a solution to what should be a small problem, but what is it with these people who suddenly come up with a case of the "I'm not hungry anymore, or I'll just eat off of my friends plate" plague? Yes, sometimes a small hair drops on the plate, or a tiny bug manage to escape it's death by not getting washed off, but does that really dampen the good times that you came to have in the restaurant? And if I was the friend sitting at the table with you, and you said that you would just eat off of my plate, f@&k no! I'm like a dog. Stay away from my food bowl and my mouth when it's time to eat. (And I know I'm not alone on this one.)
And then there's the "glass is half empty" people. These are customers who absolutely have to have their water glass filled to the top at all times or else they can't focus on their company or even attempt to eat their meal. You know who you are... your water glass has at least a third of water left in it, and you tell the entire restaurant staff that you need your server. I rush over to stop the apparent rape that is happening, and without saying a word, you motion to your water glass meaning to top it off. I'm all about optimism, but this would even make the Dalai Lama say, "this bitch is nuts!" In the industry, we make it a point to keep things filled, but if there's still some water in the glass, you'll survive. After all, we're in a drought for Pete's sake.
Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.
"Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready."
The Bitter Bistro