Skip to main content

a la Jerry Seinfeld, "Who are these people?"


I talk a lot about the annoying things that I have encountered with customers throughout my illustrious service career. People with allergies. Splitting checks. The tale of the tip. So, I think it would only be fair to spend a little time talking about the other side of the coin; People who work in the service industry.

I try not to judge other people in the industry. After all, to some, I'm just as whacky and bitter as the rest of them. But sometimes, I can't help but wonder how some people got hired to work in the service industry, when the main focus of the job, is SERVICE oriented.

This one place I used to work, this girl from the Eastern block of the world was hired as a hostess, the first line of defense in a restaurant, but the girl doesn't use English as her first or even secondary form of language. One of the most amusing things I saw this girl do one night was when she sat a party of four, and it turned out that it was only going to be a party of three. The hostess, in her thick-Slovak accent, confronted to guest about only having three people show up when it was supposed to be four. "The reservation says four people, and you are only three! What happen to the other?" Confrontation is usually never a good idea for anybody in a restaurant, especially the guests. Now that I think about it, maybe the hostess had a friend standing by in the wings who could join the table for situations like this one. But I will say this for her, she liked to have things numerically correct.

Most recently I ordered a Turkey Burger, and a bunch of other food from a restaurant to be delivered to my house. The girl on the phone asked me, "How do you want your Turkey Burger?"

"I want it delivered with the rest of the food."

"No." She scolded. "How do you want your Turkey Burger cooked? Medium? Medium-well?"

This is why it's always important that you know your product before you sell it. Especially with something like, say, poultry?

"Oh... medium. I like my Turkey Burger with just a touch of Salmonella. And instead of fries, I'd like a side of E. coli."

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out.

10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU
"This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking around…

A Letter to Yelpers

Dear Yelpers:

You think you're smart.  Nope.  You think you're cool.  Wrong again.  You think this is the popularity that you have been yearning to have since high school.  (BUZZ!)  Incorrect.

It's time for you to take the energy that you put into your Yelping, and focus your attention on yourself.  Your "opinion" is not important.  The fact that your meal was ruined by the color of your server's apron, or the shape of the plates, or that they didn't give you anything for free on your birthday just means that you were not a planned pregnancy, and you should be grateful that you made it to full term.

Ouch!  That hurts, doesn't it?  Well, do you think that destroying someone's business is okay?  That demeaning your server or bartender makes you look like you know what you're talking about?  If your opinion REALLY mattered, (it doesn't,) then you should crawl out from your hiding space where you Yelp on your laptop, and talk to someone face-…

Cover My Shift!!!

The anxiety of trying to get your shift covered at a serving job ranks up there with wondering if the pee stick is going to turn positive or negative after a long night of having shots with your coworkers, and you ended up hooking up with one of them.  Eventually, the pregnancy scare turns out to be negative, you get your shift covered, and everything is right with the world.

But trying to get your shift covered is never easy.  Especially when you feel like you go out of your way to cover other people's shifts when they ask, but when the time comes for you to ask them, it becomes an entire ordeal.

"Hey Steve, would you be able to cover my shift next Wednesday night?  My parents are going to be in town," I asked last Saturday night.

"I might be able to, but I won't know until Tuesday.  Can I get back to you then?" Steve replied.

"That's cutting it close," I said.  "Would you be able to tell me by Monday?"

"I can't cause I h…