Skip to main content

Sample Winers


UHG!!! Enough with the people who think that they are foodies and wine connoisseurs. Believe me, I am a huge fan of "Top Chef," but that doesn't make me go into a restaurant and question every ingredient of each dish, and the complexity of each grape that goes into every varietal of wine.

One night, I have this couple in my section, and they begin to ask a few questions about some wines they had the last time they came in to eat. FINE, but then they suddenly need something "fruity," but "smooth." "Wait. Maybe not smooth, but more fruit forward. Yes, we want a wine that is a fruit-bomb."

"Fruit bomb?" I confirm. Getting hard to control my smart-ass tendencies at this point.

"Yes." Said the woman. "Something that will please my palate, then explode in my mouth." (Not kidding! Actual words.)

"A fruity, palate-pleasing, mouth exploding wine. Sir you are a lucky man. I have just the wine for you."

"But what about a Zin?" The man interrupted. Then he proceeded to ask questions about EVERY bottle of wine that was on the wine list. Followed by, "I would like to try some of the wines."

YOU ARE NOT AT YOGURTLAND!

Restaurants can help you pair wines with food, and you should try one or two wines AT MOST, but keep in mind that if they're only two of you at the table, you should not have eight empty wine glasses in front of you from sampling wines.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

Anonymous said…
They sample the wine, and then gargle with it like mouthwash. Just drink it already.
Seriously! Do they think they're at "Yogurtland?"

Popular posts from this blog

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"   Since Scott is obviously an alien, h

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt.  Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons.  Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year.  Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places.  But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows.  When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow.  When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season.  School just started.  Families are adjusting to their fall schedules.  Whatever!  This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com .  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  There are ways t