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The Only Birthday in the World...


Birthdays that are celebrated in restaurants are apparently the only birthdays in the world. (At least for that day.) Don't get me wrong, birthdays are fun, and it's great to get together with friends to celebrate a birthday at a restaurant, but keep this in mind... there is a strong possibility that there are other people celebrating birthdays that same day as well. I know, hard to believe, but it is possible that there were multiple births on that day.

And we've all seen this happen. Out at a restaurant and one of the friends get up from the table to go to the bathroom, this is the universal signal that they are going to tell their server that it's their friends birthday, and they would like them to do something special. Oh, and of course, make it a surprise. A surprise?

"Surprise! Happy birthday!" Says the server.

"Oh my God! I had no idea it was my birthday." Shrieked the surprise birthday person. Apparently they used to be a Jehovah's witness.

Or how about this... It's a Saturday night, and the server gets to the table with a candle in some sort of dessert, and everybody at the table, including the birthday person, all look at him like they don't know what the hell he's doing and the server is standing there like he's some whack-job standing at their table with a flaming cupcake. Then the server second guesses themselves at the last second because he thinks he made a mistake even though these are the same people who told him that it was their friends birthday. So he doesn't know what to sing...

"Happy... Saturday to You!" What's the matter with this guy?

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

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