Skip to main content

And my cat will have the veal.


You think you've seen it all in restaurants and hotels. Think again friends! Now menus are available for ALL of your children. Not just the human ones, but for your animal children as well. The best place to get take your furry friend for a birthday dinner, none other than Beverly Hills, CA. I'll never forget working at this restaurant in the heart of Beverly Hills, one of the nicest customer's to eat there was Vidal Sassoon. Yes, the guy who doesn't look good, if you don't look good. He and his wife were super friendly, great tippers, no egos attached to this couple. But, whenever they would dine with us, their two dogs dined as well. The restaurant went as far as to keep the dog bowls in the restaurant for them. Nothing was too good for their canines. Chicken breast. Egg whites. Apparently the dogs were on Atkin's.

And now I've seen many luxury hotels catering to the animal clientele. And not just Charlie Sheen. (BAM!) When you order room service, or even if you have turn down service for your room, now the maids leave chocolates for you, and some carob treats for your pets to nosh on before calling it a night. Seriously, who wants to carry a fifty pound bag of dog food when they travel anyways? What's next? Bars serving up pet cocktails? I don't think that's too far off. And if that does happen, I thought of it first.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Letter to Yelpers

Dear Yelpers:

You think you're smart.  Nope.  You think you're cool.  Wrong again.  You think this is the popularity that you have been yearning to have since high school.  (BUZZ!)  Incorrect.

It's time for you to take the energy that you put into your Yelping, and focus your attention on yourself.  Your "opinion" is not important.  The fact that your meal was ruined by the color of your server's apron, or the shape of the plates, or that they didn't give you anything for free on your birthday just means that you were not a planned pregnancy, and you should be grateful that you made it to full term.

Ouch!  That hurts, doesn't it?  Well, do you think that destroying someone's business is okay?  That demeaning your server or bartender makes you look like you know what you're talking about?  If your opinion REALLY mattered, (it doesn't,) then you should crawl out from your hiding space where you Yelp on your laptop, and talk to someone face-…

Cover My Shift!!!

The anxiety of trying to get your shift covered at a serving job ranks up there with wondering if the pee stick is going to turn positive or negative after a long night of having shots with your coworkers, and you ended up hooking up with one of them.  Eventually, the pregnancy scare turns out to be negative, you get your shift covered, and everything is right with the world.

But trying to get your shift covered is never easy.  Especially when you feel like you go out of your way to cover other people's shifts when they ask, but when the time comes for you to ask them, it becomes an entire ordeal.

"Hey Steve, would you be able to cover my shift next Wednesday night?  My parents are going to be in town," I asked last Saturday night.

"I might be able to, but I won't know until Tuesday.  Can I get back to you then?" Steve replied.

"That's cutting it close," I said.  "Would you be able to tell me by Monday?"

"I can't cause I h…

Don't Forget Your Teeth

An older lady was dining with her husband, granddaughter, and her granddaughter's boyfriend one night, when the old lady turns to me and says,

"What do you have that's soft to eat?  I forgot my teeth."

Who the hell forgets their teeth?  Let me get this straight, when you looked at yourself in the mirror before you left, you didn't notice something was missing when you smiled?


"I know how you feel," I said, "sometimes I forget my phone.  I feel lost without it."  She just looked at me as if she didn't know what I meant by that because she still uses a rotary phone.  (Look it up.)

I explained that we have soups that she could have, but she was concerned about her choices for salad.  She and her family were using a Groupon, so they had to select from the items on the prefixed menu.

"Is the salad soft?" she asked.

"I could have the kitchen chop it fine for you.  That would make it easier to eat." I replied.  I was also g…