Can I have your autograph?

To some people, credit cards most be a new technology for them. "Wow! You mean you swipe my card and my bill gets paid?!" You use them at the mall, the body shop, and for your waxing lady. You never leave those establishments without signing the slip to complete the credit transaction. Then why are you doing this at restaurants? "I just ate a big meal. Don't have the energy to sign my name." Or, "if I don't sign the slip, then they won't be able to tell I actually ate the food that they claim I did." Hey David Copperfield, stop making both vouchers disappear by slipping them in your pockets. Or this one... stop signing one of the slips, and putting the signed copy into your wallet, purse, or satchel. Maybe it's a food coma? Now the server has to chase you down like Lindsey Lohan after her dealer.

Listen up people! You eat. We swipe. You sign. Done.

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done. Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money. WTF?!! Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian. But I adore this building. So secure." The above picture was found on Yahoo.com . One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers. And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent? So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet. And so on, and so on... Get bent! I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out. T...

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant. Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10. SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round. This table's too brown. This table's just right." You are not buying real estate. So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous. The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses. And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a...

You Got Yelped!!!

As my quest to take down Yelp.com continues, I found another Yelper who continually pushes the boundaries of common decency, and deserves to be outed. So here I go: Meet Ben P . Or, excuse me, Ben "Benitos" P. (Whatever the hell that means!) He seemed to have found his way into Beverly Hills and expected the red carpet to be rolled out for him because he thinks that he is somebody. Actually, he claims to be a(n) "Iron Yelper America," as it says on his Yelp profile. When in actuality, Ben is no more than one of the many disillusioned Yelpers who probably should've gotten his ass kicked a bit more on the playground when he was a kid. (Again, I don't condone violence, but there is something to be said for somebody FINALLY learning their lesson.) Wow I knew going in this place was not going to be good. Right from the start? How have you made this far in life, Ben? That should've been the moment for you to turn around and leave. ...

The Bitter Bistro

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