Skip to main content

You Got Yelp!!!


What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com.

As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery."  Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important.  (And by mark, I mean skid mark.)

Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list.  His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!"  Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles:

"If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it."  It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory.

"If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!"  Since Scott is obviously an alien, he is only allowed to eat between certain portals of time everyday.  If that portal closes, he's screwed!  I felt bad for Scott's next appointment.

Scott, on behalf of planet Earth, I would like to say, YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT!!!  If you are that much in a hurry, go to Taco Bell.  That is why Taco Bell was created by the universe, for people like you.  "TACO BELL--When you're in a hurry for the food to go in, and out."

Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA, YOU GOT YELPED!!!

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter.  Party of one?  Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant.  Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out.

10.  SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU
"This table's too round.  This table's too brown.  This table's just right."  You are not buying real estate.  So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous.  The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses.  And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking around…

You Got Yelped!!!

As my quest to take down Yelp.com continues, I found another Yelper who continually pushes the boundaries of common decency, and deserves to be outed.  So here I go:

Meet Ben P.
Or, excuse me, Ben "Benitos" P.  (Whatever the hell that means!)  He seemed to have found his way into Beverly Hills and expected the red carpet to be rolled out for him because he thinks that he is somebody.  Actually, he claims to be a(n) "Iron Yelper America," as it says on his Yelp profile.  When in actuality, Ben is no more than one of the many disillusioned Yelpers who probably should've gotten his ass kicked a bit more on the playground when he was a kid.  (Again, I don't condone violence, but there is something to be said for somebody FINALLY learning their lesson.)

Wow I knew going in this place was not going to be good.

Right from the start?  How have you made this far in life, Ben?  That should've been the moment for you to turn around and leave.  And not just leave …

Excuse Tips

It's ideal for a server to receive 18 to 20 percent gratuity for a job well done.  Now it seems that customers are looking to leave an excuse rather than a monetary tip explaining why they couldn't leave their server any money.  WTF?!!

Of course, because my landlord would love to receive an excuse instead of a check for rent this month. "I don't have the money for rent, because I'm a writer/comedian.  But I adore this building.  So secure."

The above picture was found on Yahoo.com.  One of the comments said that they thought this was an altered pic, but I have actually seen this happen to myself and co-workers.  And by-the-way, what if the server waiting on the woman was a single parent?  So the lady who wrote this has now started a domino effect on their server who is struggling to make ends meet.  And so on, and so on...  Get bent!

I don't believe in saying that if you can't afford to go out, that you should never go out.  There are ways to go ou…