A little PDA goes a long, long, way...

Many of you have asked me to blog more often about the things that people do in restaurants and bars. I try to write about what happens as much as I can, but sometimes, I am so shocked about some of the things that I see and hear, it takes awhile for me to digest it all, and transcribe it to you. Now that I've finished digesting, here you go...

I've noticed in many fine dining establishments, that to cleanse the palate in-between courses, they will bring you a scoop of sorbet. It's refreshing and gets your taste buds ready for the next course. Here in Los Angeles, some customers have a better way of cleansing their palates... by jamming their tongues down the throats of their dinner guests. And why not? Don't birds do the same thing? One evening, I had a table of three people, one guy and two girls, who were eating on the patio at the restaurant I was working. To say they were having a good time is an understatement. I went out to check on them, and the guy was making out with one of the girls with the other girl sitting behind them eating. Then they stopped making out to eat some more of their meal. I figured the food most be fine, and their water glasses were full, so they didn't need me to hang around the table staring at them. So I went to the side-station to stare at them from there. After they ate some more, the guy then turned to the other girl and started making out with her. I think this is what athletes call carb loading. Needless to say, this cycle continued on until the meal was complete. A compliment to the chef... perhaps.

This would now be the time that I would offer them a dessert menu, but I figured they wanted something that wasn't on our menu. And lucky for the three of them, we were at a hotel, so they could get a room. Which is what I told them when I presented the check. And who knows, maybe the were European? Like Clark W. Griswold said, "European standards are very different from Americans."

Until next time... Server's don't pay their rent with compliments.

"Bitter. Party of one? Your table is ready."

The Bitter Bistro

Comments

You Got Yelp!!!

What better way to get through the work week than to pick on the people who's parents truly should have considered contraceptives before having sex, the people who write negative reviews on Yelp.com. As always, I have found someone who embodies the spirit of "douchebaggery." Who alone, stands to make a mark on the world because he is THAT important. (And by mark, I mean skid mark.) Scott B., from Beverly Hills, CA makes the list. His review is short, direct, and abrupt, because he's "got places to go people!" Here's what Scott had to say about one restaurant in Los Angeles: "If you have an unlimited amount of time and an equally unlimited amount of patience, than this place might be worth it." It's nice to see that Scott was stepping out of his box to test himself on this theory. "If I ever indeed got serviced within the time frame I had to eat, I might chance the food again!" Since Scott is obviously an alien, h

Empty Restaurant Syndrome

When Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," he must have worked in a restaurant that used to be booming, but had come crashing to a halt. Time cannot be crueler, than time standing still in an empty restaurant. I've noticed that restaurants have busy and slow seasons. Yes, there are some restaurants that are busy 365 days a year. Spago in Beverly Hills is one of those places. But for the rest of us peons who couldn't get hired at one of the cash-cows, we work at places that suffer from great highs, and extreme lows. When it gets close to tax time, my restaurant is slow. When the holidays roll around, business picks up with parties and bosses acting like they care by paying for the company to have a 3-course meal. Right now I am in the midst of the slow season. School just started. Families are adjusting to their fall schedules. Whatever! This in turn has given me ample time to reflect on my life and how long I hav

10 Ways To Get Better Service At A Restaurant

I have noticed that there are many variables that can lead to a bad dining experience, and for the customer to say that they received "poor service" has become cliche, and just the "go to" for when all things go bad in a restaurant. Here is a Top 10 list to help customers have a positive experience the next time they dine out. 10. SIT AT THE FIRST TABLE THE HOST GIVES YOU "This table's too round. This table's too brown. This table's just right." You are not buying real estate. So for you to pass on the first, then the second, and even the third table option the host gives you is beyond ridiculous. The tables are all made the same, have four legs, four chairs, (if applicable,) and are strong enough to hold food, drinks, and purses. And if you pass on a table, now you've messed up the floor plan that the host has prepared at the beginning of their shift, and everybody in the restaurant takes notice as you are aimlessly walking a

The Bitter Bistro

Search This Blog